Bronte Beach BBQ Baby Shower

Yesterday, we went to a BBQ baby shower at Bronte Beach (say that five times fast) - for a couple we know who is also expecting. The weather forecast was foreboding, but it actually ended up being a gorgeous day out. Other than the food and some lawn games, there were a few silly shower games, like a water balloon toss and a relay race that involved changing a doll's diaper. I went back and forth from our shaded area and taking dips in the water all afternoon. There's a nice little area that's protected from the waves because it's surrounded by rocks, so that's where I would just go in and float for a few minutes with whichever friend also happened to want to take a dip at the time. Everyone was welcome at the shower (not just the ladies), so Michael spent a lot of the time swimming, playing Spikeball, and this other game that involves throwing small pieces of wood at other pieces of wood (I don't understand why it's a fun game, but whatever). It was a lot of fun, and by the end of the day I was knackered. 

...And yet, somehow not tired enough to sleep all the way through the night - which seems to be the usual these days. I'll wake up at 4AM or so, and not be able to sleep anymore. I thought the baby was supposed to keep you from sleeping after they're born, not before.

Baby Kingdom Success

When you are becoming a first-time parent, there are literally a thousand decisions to make. Public or private hospital? Should we get certain vaccines immediately or wait a week or two? What kind of car seat should we get? What kind of bassinet/co-sleeper? Do we need a swing? Breastfeeding is almost not even a question you're not allowed to ask here (it's pretty much assumed you will, and health professionals will guilt you heavily if you choose not to for whatever reason or can't), but what system are you going to use and what brand of pump are you going to buy to help you be successful? If I buy this set of bottles, will it be compatible with others/easy to find this brand again to buy replacements? How much time are you going to take off work? Etc. And that's just the beginning before you even start actually parenting and disciplining and sleep training and potty training and all that stuff. I imagine that 30, 50, or 100 years ago, people were not asking themselves quote this many questions. There weren't as many choices back then. 

Luckily, when you get some items second hand, some of the decisions get made for you. Since we are getting a used pram from a friend, that determined what kind of compatible carseat we would buy, for the occasional times we will even take the baby in a car anywhere. We survived our main big trip to the Baby Kingdom. It helped that I had already hunter-gathered some new and used stuff in the last weeks, so we only really had a few last decisions to make. To their credit, the Baby Kingdom staff did a pretty good job of having enough staff available to help you, answer questions, and their loading dock was really efficient. 

So, now our apartment has more stuff in it and we have so far kept it from becoming too cluttered. I'm sure that will eventually change, but for now it's alright. We are on track.

2017 Wrap-Up

As 2017 comes to a close, I know many are saying, "Good riddance". It was not the best year in the history of the US and the world in multitude of ways. 

When I think about our year, personally, though, it was actually pretty good. We got have some some amazing travels in Western Australia and Europe, and had a great visit home for our first Thanksgiving in four years. We found out we are expecting a baby, which has been exciting and fun despite my physical activity being limited and sleep not being so great. Michael has continued to play and enjoy frisbee at a high level, representing Australia internationally and playing in fun and competitive tournaments all around Australia. I got to play at Windmill Windup in Amsterdam before finding out I was pregnant, which was a ton of fun. Work has treated us both decently well this year, Michael continuing at his company and occasionally being recognized for his achievements, and me gaining regular employment for most of the year at the same school. We've continued with creative hobbies, Michael surpassing me in knitting ability. We have great friends here with whom we share holidays, boardgame nights, pub trivia, camping trips, etc. We continue to love the neighborhood where we have been living for the last year, with its walkable conveniences and tasty cafes. Eve and Ninja seem to enjoy it too. We achieved permanent residency status in Australia and are on the path to citizenship. All of our family is in good health for the most part (as far as we know), and we are grateful. 

Here's to the not-so-bad aspects of 2017, and hoping that 2018 will be even better!

Boxing Day

Happy Boxing Day! Our Christmas was fun and pretty low-key. Christmas Eve, we went to a  backyard BBQ in the evening with Irish and Canadian expat friends. Christmas Day, we opened our gifts and went to a lazy brunch at another couple's place that lasted most of the day, and then played Charterstone, the new boardgame I got Michael. We also did our duty and facetimed both sides of the family. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Glucose Update

I was reminded that I never gave an update to my glucose test. Apparently, not only did I pass, but my body handles glucose really well. This is probably not something you should tell a pregnant woman who already wants to eat everything in sight because now I'm thinking, "I can eat as much sugar as I want and my body will efficiently make it disappear". Anyway, it's a non-issue now, which is a good thing.

"Girls Night Out" Pitch Perfect 3

It's the day before X-mas Eve, which means we are getting last minute shopping done and maybe going to do some swimming. It was the last morning I got to enjoy visiting our favorite local cafe, the Town Bike Pitstop, which was bittersweet.

Last night we saw Pitch Perfect 3, which was good as can be expected. It did not get fantastic reviews, but there were catchy song numbers, a few funny moments, and some predictable story arcs. John Lithgow had the most ridiculous Australian accent I've ever heard in a movie, which amused us all quite a but. Since we went and saw a "Girl Night Out" viewing of the movie, the group of us all got these "free" grab bags (included in the price of the ticket) that were marketed towards women, which means they had makeup and beauty product samples in them, plus a trashy magazine. Lucky us.

Downsizing (the movie)

We saw Downsizing at the outdoor cinema last night. Some parts of it were funny, but mainly there was the feeling that they could have picked a lot of different avenues to go down, story-wise, and they didn't pick any of them. They just lightly touched on a bunch of different ideas and then the plot would meander on. 

As usual, the outdoor cinema was pleasant, despite a few drops of rain. In a way, the rain was good because it thinned out the crowd and made parking easier. We had an enjoyable picnic as always, and we even ran into some friends that teamed up with us and added to the picnic deliciousness. 

Disappointed, but Not Surprised

I had a longer post written, but I deleted it because this about sums it up.

This Sounds Familiar

This is a poster from the Holocaust Museum. 

Happy School Holidays!

Friday was the last day of school in 2017. My school gave me a nice little thank you and send-off. 

In the evening, we went to a holiday dinner of sorts with some friends. My only regret was filling up too much on the cheese and crackers before getting to all the other good stuff, but I suppose that's a regret I can live with. At least I got to taste turkey, spinach dip, brussels sprouts, potatoes, stuffing, etc. We ended up playing an impromptu version of The Newlywed Game, which was pretty hilarious. We also played a superlatives game, from which I found out I was the most likely person in the room to have been a Disney child star, and the person in the room most likely to live the longest. I think Michael ended up being voted a good person to pick to help you bury a dead body. My friend, Holly, and I also decided we would be a good team to be stranded on a desert island together (for that question, significant others were not allowed to be your answer), since Holly would plant a nice garden and I would be a good forager, and we would tame wild monkeys as pets. Anyway, it was all good fun despite our friend's apartment feeling like 90 degrees the whole time. 

Saturday was we has our usual breakfast sandwiches from the bike cafe, and went to the pool in the afternoon. We tossed around the mini frisbee and did a few really pathetic laps. It has been a fun and mostly relaxing day. I'm topping it off by making some homemade Vietnamese-style rice paper rolls. 

Apology Not Accepted?

We had a little end-of-the-year lunch at work the other day, and the principal formally said goodbye to each teacher who is leaving with a little speech about each. There was one teacher in particular, who it was acknowledged, comes across as somewhat mean and short to other adults, despite being a very affective teacher that her students love. The principal said not to believe her tough exterior, and that she is all soft inside, and they both alluded to the fact that she had been through some stuff time in the past and that was why she acted so gruff all the time. During her little speech, she acknowledged all this and sincerely apologized if she had ever come across in a mean way to anyone, and that she sincerely doesn't mean to even though she knows she sometimes does. Although I don't work with this teacher as closely as I do with others, I can confirm, she does come across as grumpy 95% of the time. There are at least two other teachers at the school I can think of that have this same persona, and I'm sure every workplace has a few of them.

So, I guess that's nice that this teacher apologized, but maybe if you're aware of it you should make more of an effort to not come across that way? I'm not the warmest friendliest person all the time, but certainly no coworkers and few children would describe me as a mean or cold person straight away. If that's how people are known to perceive you, and you don't want them to, maybe you need to do something different. We all have our tough stuff to deal with; it’s not an excuse to just lack basic courtesy all the time. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have coworkers that think I'm insane for walking to and from the train station to commute; it takes me 45 minutes to an hour total to commute, usually. It costs me about $6/day. Some of those same coworkers commute as long as 2 1/2 hours each way to drive to work, and pay tolls totalling about $50/week, in addition to gas and car maintenance. Time and money, people. What's it worth to you?

Try a Little Tenderness

50 years ago today (American time), Otis Redding passed away in a plane crash at the age of 26. The best musicians often die too young. There was no other voice like his, before or since.

Bills, bills, bills

Since Michael and I are anticipating the biggest changes to our lives and finances since we moved in together, we have come up with a new family budget for the 2018 year. It isn't set in stone yet, but it is a relief to look at where we are, make a few decisions, and know that we won't have to live off only canned tuna once the baby is born. 

I am guessing that a lot of people don't like to analyze their own finances and spending habits very often. It's not particularly fun, and it reminds you that you probably shouldn't treat yourself as often as you are inclined to. In the long run, though, once you do it, it becomes a weight off your shoulders. Even if you don't stick to your budget down to the dollar, it does make you more mindful of your spending and saving habits, and it encourages you to make better decisions for a while.

Wow, what a boring idea for a blog post. Personal Finance isn't the most interesting topic, but it is really important. So, if you haven't thought about spending habits in a while, you should!

Anti-social Social Media

I had noticed for the last few weeks that responses to my Facebook posts had gone down pretty much to zero. This confused me since up until a certain point, I would regularly get several likes or responses to random posts here or there. The thought crossed my mind that I had been added to some secret list of people who were being blocked for posting subversive content, or something like that. Or, maybe I had posted something that had gone too far, and everyone had had enough and blocked me. I was wondering, "Should I continue to post if it appears that nobody appears to be reading what I write?... I can... but what is the point if I do? Is it more important for me to post something I think or care about, or more important that someone else sees it and/or responds?". I suppose these questions get to the nature of social media to being with. I did end up continuing to post, anyway. 

As it turns out, neither of my conspiracy theories was the case. Somehow, during some post, I had accidentally set my preferences to only show my posts to one particular friend. Now that the problem is fixed, my posts are visible to all my friends again. Does it matter that nobody is going to now pay attention to the older posts I made for the last few weeks? Not really. 

Oh, Hi Mark.

Yesterday, Michael and I went to see The Disaster Artist. We enjoyed it, but I can't stress enough that in order to get it, you really need to have seen The Room first (if possible, in its entirely and at a theater screening for full effect of the lack of continuity and for what a social experience it has become). Otherwise, it will lack a lot of meaning. Michael said he was surprised that he thought The Disaster Artist was less of a comedy, and more of an accurate account of what happened, because he expected it to make fun of the original movie more. They really did incredibly accurate shot-for-shot recreations from the original movie that were very impressive, and they paid homage to the best lines. The movie also had a really great cast with a lot of cameos - I suppose this isn't too big of a surprise considering who made it.

I had recently listened to a podcast featuring Seth Rogen where he talks about how they had the unique challenge of not just making fun of the movie and the director, but really trying to show that the director was a passionate emotional, and sincere guy, even if he is very strange. And that, even though The Room is a movie that everyone watches because it's so bad, why is it so different and special compared to the million other bad movies that have been made that people don't watch anymore? 

Anyway, it was an enjoyable, somewhat meta experience.

Holiday Party in Manly

Having worked in the non-profit sector and education, my work holiday parties have usually been pretty pathetic in the past. At least, they're basically DIY potlucks or pay-for-yourself affairs, at best they're at least a free meal (and drinks too, if we're really lucky). Usually, significant others aren't invited, and if they are they don't really want to come because it's just an expense that isn't really worth it. Michael's work holiday parties always put mine to shame. They're always hosted at nice locations, and good food and drinks are a given, and then sometimes there are additional amenities. They always encourage a +1, and everyone is so friendly.

This year, Michael's company party was at a hotel in Manly, and they paid for rooms for everyone and their partners for the night. There was the usual food and drinks, a DJ and dance floor, and a photo booth. The party itself was fun, and it was nice waking up to a breakfast buffet and a walk on the beach before taking the ferry back and starting my day. I would have gone for a swim too, but there were dangerous currents in the morning and it was closed to swimmers. 

Maybe one day I will work for somewhere that has enough of a budget and the desire to treat its employees as well. One day. 

Pour Some Sugar On Me

Today, I partook in the infamous blood glucose test. You have to fast from 10PM the night before the test. They take your blood. They make you drink this super sweet drink. Then, you wait an hour and they take your blood again. Then, you wait an hour and they take your blood again. It's not a typo that I said that twice. I was warned beforehand that some women have a horrible time, they feel ill and need to vomit. If you vomit, they make you go through the whole thing again. Some women get headaches or get lightheaded. Some feel a sugar rush and then crash. Me? I felt mostly fine and normal. But, what does that mean? Is that good or bad? Does it correlate to anything at all? Maybe it helped that I ate too big of a dinner last night and so I wasn't as starving as some other people are when they normally take the test? Maybe it helped that I hydrated in the morning and walked the 1.5km to the appointment, so I was better able to metabolize the sweet stuff? I have no idea. 

After taking the test, I chatted with some friends that had had it, and I looked up how people online said they had reacted to the test. There seemed to be little or no correlation between who got sick or didn't get sick, and who found out they had gestational diabetes. 

So, now we wait for results. I have no reason to think that anything is amiss, but lots of women who have gestational diabetes never show any symptoms and find out from the blood test. Fingers are crossed. 

Feist

Last night, I went to see Feist with a friend at the Sydney Opera House. We had the best seats I've ever had there, since a friend with a membership got them for us - maybe 4 or 5 rows back from the front. Anyway, she was a really fun performer to see live. She cracked jokes and told stories, got everyone up and dancing out of their seats, and really knows when to rock out and when to be mellow. Even though she played all songs I didn't know for the first half of the show, they were still enjoyable - which is kind of a big test to pass when you see an artist live for the first time. 

Baby Shower #2

I'm still waking up at 5AM, since coming back from the states. This means I have more time in the wee hours to blog!

It's been a busy weekend. Yesterday, some friends here threw me a fun little baby shower. It was really great, and Michael's addition before leaving for the afternoon was setting up a smoothie bar with lots of fresh fruit and some mint. It was a big hit; the only problem was that it was noisy. I'd highly recommend it for future events, though, regardless. 

We also did a "quick" trip to Ikea to get some much-needed storage pieces for all the wonderful baby stuff we have received. I say "quick", because it still involved eating Swedish meatballs, but it didn't last all day. We still need to get the actual baby stuff, like the bassinet, pram, etc, but it's at least nice that we have places to store stuff so we don't feel cluttered in our already small apartment.

Hooray!

4AM

When I'm back at my parents' house on an annual visit, and I find myself unable to sleep due to jet-lag and adrenaline, I often find myself eating cereal and going through old photos, and the other odds and ends I've left there. I usually end up purging a few boxes or bags of old stuff, and yet every time it seems like the same amount of stuff is there.

One of my trivia mates, who just had a grandchild and is expecting another one very soon, was talking about how everyone gets very interested in looking at your and your partner's childhood photos when you have a baby, for comparison and reminiscence purposes. During my jet-lag induced haze one day at 4AM, I found these little gems:

I guess we'll see if Baby C takes after my rosy mug, or more after Michael.

Speaking of 4AM, here is one of my favorite references...

There and Back Again

We can never do everything we want to do and see everyone and everything we want to see during our trips back. This time we spent a lot of time with family and enjoyed two Thanksgiving gatherings, a few baby showers, and a few brunches. We spent several days of quality time with the niece and nephews, something that is really rare because of the distance and all schedules rarely matching up. All the interactions had added weight in my mind too, just knowing that the next time I see everyone, everything will be different. I will be a mom (mum) and I will have different priorities.

I already miss all the family and friends we got to spend time with, even though it's just been a short time since we were there. Missing out on so much that is happening with all of them is the hardest thing about living here. Social media gets a bad rap sometimes, but I don't know what I would do without it connecting me to everyone back at home on a regular basis. I hate that it's so long until I'll be able to see everyone again.

Travelling for 24 hours is always exhausting. Travelling pregnant is more exhausting and uncomfortable than it already is. Jet-lag and dehydration can hit you even harder. You're supposed to wear these uncomfortable compression socks for long flights.  You're more susceptible to nausea when there's turbulence. You radiate heat and have a harder time regulating your body temperature. The sleep and eating schedule disruption feels exponential. Anyway, I survived, having learned that I never want to travel over the Pacific again while pregnant. Arriving in the states is really discombobulating (even just normally), and then we get to experience it all over again when we come back here, to a slightly lesser degree. 

At least we can count on our cats excitedly welcoming us back. In the next few days, I'm sure we'll be reminded of all the reasons we chose to stay here longer, and we choose to go through these travel ordeals. We live a double life, between the states and here. Everyone at home guilts us to come back, and we really are planning to in about two years. I know that doesn't mean much because we said that when we left almost four years ago, but we really do mean it.

The Kids' Table

There are just two more sleeps and one more day of work and then we'll be off to the states for our first family Thanksgiving in 4 years, and the last one before Michael and I become parents. Knowing my family, though, that doesn't mean we'll be too old to sit at the kids' table. I have cousins that are in their 40's who are still relegated there sometimes. 

Sandwiches, Scavenging, and Songs

This post has been brought to you by the letter S.

Yesterday started off as a typical Saturday for us lately: breakfast sandwiches from the Town Bike Pitstop. Then, we participated in an almost-annual scavenger hunt run by some of our friends, around the Darling Harbour area. It was a fundraiser, with all the proceeds going to Epilepsy Ireland, a cause near and dear to a friend who recently lost his wife to epilepsy. The weather was perfect and the company was the usual crowd of frisbee folk and associates. 

In the evening, we went to Giant Dwarf, a very convenient local venue for us (just about a 10 minute walk from our apartment), to see Polyphony perform. Our friend sings in the non-traditional group; they are not the typical act/show I would go to see, but I'm glad I found out about them through her. This was the second time I had seen them, and this time was even better than the first. They often pick songs by artists not typically covered by choirs or acapella groups; they'll do songs by alternative artists like Bjork, Fiona Apple, Tori Amos, etc. This time, the most experimental songs were "All Around the World" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and "Umbrella" by Rihanna. "All Around the World" was not the best/easiest song, but I respected them for attempting it, and "Umbrella" was surprisingly good because they did it with a little doo-wop flare. 

It was a well-rounded, fun Saturday!

Election Connection

I am so happy to hear the outcome of the Virginia elections, which we voted in via mail. I'm happy about this because Virginia has been a very diverse melting pot for a long time and in a lot of ways, and it's about time that its representatives reflect some of that diversity. It also sounds like there were other gains in diversity in the governments of other states as well. 

I'm also really proud to know and have worked with Kate Kennedy, who won the a local city council election in College Park City. She was fabulous to work with in the non-profit world, and I know she will do an amazing job in local government. 

All the way across the biggest pond, things carry on here in Oz as usual. We are getting excited and ready for our trip back to the states in a week. 

Changing Shape

Last night I went to a "Changing Shape" class at the hospital for moms-to-be to learn about different ways to deal with the physical changes of being pregnant? What did I learn? That I already knew 95% of what the physio told us from my own reading (books and articles) and discussions with doctors and educated new moms. All the same, it was nice to attend the class and interact with people who are due at close to the same time as me, for their first times as well. It also confirmed something I knew already about all the information we hear and read - that all the experts still disagree on everything.

What I observed of the other moms was perhaps more telling than the few things I learned from the class. 

1. Although a few seemed to be familiar with some of the information too, more than half did not know some simple things that I had already heard or read over and over again. For example, a lot of them did know not to lie or sleep flat on one's back during the second trimester and beyond. 

2. Not sitting on my butt all day gives me far fewer problems and less pain than most of the women seemed to have. With the exception of one who said she had a job where she stands all day, a lot of them seemed to desk jobs or were students. They were all having back pain and swollen feet and vein problems and other things, of which I have so far had none. The physio said the best way to get rid of or lessen these symptoms was to move around as much as possible. I get the occasional minor aches and pains, and I have my own neck pain issues from time to time that I already had before getting pregnant, but for the most part I have been very fortunate and had very little pain.

3. Being a physically active person before I got pregnant has helped me out a lot. I seemed to be the only one that was still comfortable with wider range of motion. I was the only one getting up and down off the floor when I needed to write on the chart paper or try some of the exercises, the rest of the women just sat the whole time. Everyone laughed when I said I found a way to get up by kind of commando rolling onto my side (getting up from sitting or lying down was something they all said they were struggling with and needed help from others), until the physio said that's one of the things we should try to do so as not to strain certain muscles. 

I suppose this post sounds a little braggy, but I don't mean it to. I mean more to highlight two things that most of us already know, but many people have a hard time following through with. It's good to educate yourself about something you are dealing with to find the best strategies for you to deal with it on a daily basis, whatever that issue might be. And, being regularly physically active pays off in a multitude of ways over time. Both of these things make your life easier. 

Election Day: Nov. 6

I already voted several weeks ago. If you haven't already vote absentee, make sure to vote on Tuesday, Nov. 6! The US does not have great voter turnout in general, and it's even worse in years where there isn't a presidential election. Smaller, local elections are still important. The outcomes can affect everyone's day to day lives, whether they notice or care or not. 

Also, there is still time to have your say about the possible huge increase in national park fees here. 

Food and Hats

Saturday was a very social day. Michael spent most of the day with his men's frisbee team, while I went and had a Japanese lunch at Darling Harbour with my cousins who were in town.

The evening involved hopping from one social event to another, starting with eating a delicious and expansive home-cooked Korean meal at a friend's apartment for her birthday. Dessert was also full of choices: two different apple pies,"award winning" caramel honey pic, Uncle Tetsu's macha cheesecake and plain cheesecake (which both have the consistency of fluffy clouds), in addition to ice cream and fresh berries on the side. So good. 

From there I went to another friend's party and met up with Michael. The party theme was "hats", which doesn't sound that spectacular, but there was a lot of people and some people really brought their hat A-game. Also, they used hats to serve snacks too, which was mildly amusing. 

Sunday was much quieter. We slept in until 9 (gasp!), then I ran some errands and Michael went to the climbing gym. We watched a few episodes from the new season of Stranger Things. 

So ends one week and begins another.

Pandemic Legacy: Season 2.

We have started playing Pandemic Legacy: Season 2. It's the sequel to season 1, obviously. But for those that man not be familiar with legacy-type games, it's a game where there can be permanent consequences to game play depending on how successful (or not) you can accomplish objectives. In addition to receiving the game board and pieces, there are additional boxes and envelopes that are only to be opened when you are instructed, dependent on different game conditions. The cooperative story arcs throughout the play of a year - each time you play is one month of that year, and you play a month again if you lose (in terms of the story I guess you'd say it's the second half of that month). So, if you do amazingly, you'd play the game 13 times (prologue + 12 months); if you do poorly, you could play up to 25 episodes. Once all the months have ended, the game is essentially retired and not playable after that. 

We really enjoyed the first season - it was one of the best boardgames I've ever played, if not the best. It deals with apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic themes, which are just so hot right now. They're kind of the new Hansel. 

I really do think we are living in a golden age of games right now. There are just some really intelligent, complex games out there that involve sophisticated, higher order thinking and strategy. It's not just about luck anymore or chance, or having the same board and variables to work with. They are ever-evolving, and many are more like a shared experience than just a way to pass the time. There are more cooperative games than there have ever been, and games with different mechanics compared to the classic everyone-for-themselves mentality. 

So far in Pandemic Legacy: Season 2, we have played the prologue and the first and second half of January. We have successfully avoided any far-reaching negative consequences so far, and have made a little bit of positive progress. Only time will tell if the survivors are successful in maintaining their territory and expanding the habitable areas in the what is left of the known world. 

Shaun Tan

Since knowing something about kid lit is part of my job these days, I wanted to highlight an Australian author/artist who is putting out some really interesting and different books these days. His name is Shaun Tan and his style is very Sci Fi and surreal. 

Worth Your Salt

Every day I teach, I encounter two common hindrances to kids' learning. The first is when students think they already know something, they think and even say they already know it, so they stop listening. Then they sometimes miss the new piece of information that comes after the review of what is familiar. "Oh, I know how to multiply already". Oh, you do? So you can multiply this three-digit number by that three digit number instantaneously? I didn't know you were Rain Man. 

The second hindrance is kids who have the attitude about themselves that they simply aren't good at something, so they avoid it because it makes them continue to feel stupid, rather than improve at that skill. They tell me, "I don't want to draw because I'm not good at it". Then I have to say, "How do you think that so-and-so good good at drawing? He/she didn't start out being able to draw perfecting, he/she practiced".

Both of these problems lead to a lack of a grown mindset. If there is anything that I think leads to success and happiness later in life for than most other things it's having a growth mindset - an attitude to try to get better at something by working hard. Some people might think it's funny that I am saying this, since I am not exactly the most perfect specimen of a hard worker. I am definitely someone who believes in working smarter and not necessarily harder, when possible. I hate to waste effort on something when I know there won't be a return on my investment. That being said, I have put in my time and effort on skills and knowledge that I value and consider worthwhile in my lifetime, and I do feel as though I've "paid my dues" through my schooling (earlier in life and through postgraduate education) and work experience over the years. I may have quit some activities when I was younger, but once I found some of the ones that spoke to me, like ultimate frisbee, I improved at them over the years until I could say I was proficient and confident enough to help coach others. Anyway, back to growth mindset. It's another case of getting out of something what you put into it.

There are a handful of students I see off and on throughout the week that are really struggling in school (I'm talking reading two grade levels behind and completely unable to troubleshoot minor problems on their own), and they're struggling almost entirely because of their terrible attitudes. They have these terrible attitudes because they completely lack confidence due to the fact that they are bad at most things, have avoided any attempt at improving at those things, and therefore have not improved at those basic skills that they really need to know. Some of them likely have other issues they are dealing with outside of school, at home, that affect their attitudes and perceptions. It is very unfortunate, and I alone cannot solve their problems in the short intervals at which I see them, especially when I also have up to 30 other students that I have to teach at the same time. There are students who struggle for other reasons, for example there are several kids at the school who come from a refugee background and English isn't their first language, and many of their parents are not literate in English, but many of those kids improve vastly after period of transition of a few weeks or months. Those that are refugees often have a great attitude towards learning because they often come from families that are trying to work hard for a better life, and so they also adopt that attitude of trying to do as well as they can. 

I suppose my main point in discussing this is to just tell all the many parents, particularly parents of little ones, that instilling a growth mindset at a young age is one of the most important things they can do if they want their kids to feel confident and have more choices and opportunities when they get older. One of the popular ways to do this is that when you are praising a child for something, you emphasize the effort and how hard they worked to achieve something as opposed to how smart they are. You can also model good problem solving techniques and emphasize when you kept trying without giving up. Keep encouraging them to work through frustration, and show them how you have to do it sometimes too. Being frustrated and feeling like you're not perfect at something doesn't necessarily mean it's not worth your time. Over time, the kid(s) will come to learn through trial and error what ends up being worth their time or not, but until they make those first several attempts and develop basic skills, they won't know if something will be or not. Over time, they will get better at assessing their own skills and evaluating whether or not something will be worth their time or not. 

This is not just a problem that kids have. I can think of several adults I have come across that do not possess much self-confidence because for various reasons they never developed a growth mindset or the skills to self-asses. These adults have a much harder time "adulting" than those that have such a mindset and understand their own abilities, wants, and needs well. Again, I realize that I am not the perfect example of someone who acts like a perfectly confident adult all the time, so I suppose just take what I say with a grain of salt. 

I suppose that's just the disclaimer on everything I say.

Mel-bourne and Mel-ons

We had a great time on our short trip to Melbourne. Book of Mormon was still great - while the leads couldn't top the original broadway cast, the young woman who played Nabulungi was really amazing. The sets and props were almost exactly the same as the Broadway production. 

PAX AUS was also predictably fun. We nerded out on boardgames, video games, and panels. My favorite unusual find was an app game called Florence, which is more of an interactive graphic novel than a game. 

No trip to Melbourne, however short, is complete without a trip to Chin Chin/Go Go Bar, our favorite restaurant. The food was delicious and it hit the spot. 

And just like that, we're back in Sydney in the middle of another work week. Nothing special was happening for Halloween this year, so that's kind of come and gone too. 

In closing, I'm going to channel Oprah for a second, and plug one of my current favorite things: "H2 Melon Water". It's actually watermelon juice without any pulp, but I think they're calling it that to attract the coconut water crowd. In any case, I already liked fresh-squeezed watermelon juice, it was just not really something found in stores until recently. So, yay for refreshing watermelon juice as the weather is getting warmer! 

Now, I'm thinking of ridiculous marketing, so I'll end with this...

PAX AUS (take 3)

This weekend, Michael and I will be enjoying PAX AUS and The Book of Mormon musical. We are looking forward to being entertained, and spending time with friends for a short getaway. 

Pikachuesday

This video is actually kind of old, but I just felt like posting something funny today regardless. My favorite part is when they try to bring the deflating guy out again and then the suit fails again. We've all had those days where we relate to a deflating Pikachu...

Credibility and Impressions

Many people know my age and older are familiar with the journalist, Dan Rather. For those that don't know, he is actually quite active on social media these days, and often poignantly points out his observations of current events. On Oct. 20, he posted this as a reflection about what has happened in the new recently. I think he brings up avery good point about "credibility" regardless of one's political affiliation:

"This is what happens when you lose credibility. This is what happens when you lie repeatedly about issues big and small. This is what happens when you foment divisions and show no remorse. This is what happens when your words have no meaning. You lose the benefit of the doubt.

Today John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff issued an emotional defense of President Donald Trump's phone call to the widow of a fallen soldier. He opened up about the death of his own son in combat. He claimed that Mr. Trump was being sensitive. He said he hadn't meant to criticize previous presidents when he said he wasn't sure if they made calls to the fallen. He criticised the conclusion of a Democratic congresswoman who shared her vantage point of the call. Everything that Mr. Kelly said may be true. Or maybe not. This could fall legitimately in the grey area of different interpretations, at least in cases where the president isn't Donald Trump.

Why did millions of Americans jump to the conclusion that Mr. Trump was criticizing President Obama with his words? Because that is what Mr. Trump always does, including questioning whether President Obama was a real American. Why did millions of Americans not trust Mr. Trump's denials about what he said and that he had proof? Because Mr. Trump repeatedly lies about what he says and what he means. Why did millions of Americans assume that Mr. Trump could not feel empathy for the death of Sgt. La David T. Johnson? Because he has shown no empathy for the people of Puerto Rico still suffering from a hurricane without power or safe drinking water. Why did millions of Americans think that Mr. Trump could disrespect American servicemen and women? Because he attacked a war hero and a Gold Star Family during the presidential campaign.

The impression of Mr. Trump that fueled the narrative around this phone call is one for which Mr. Trump has only himself to blame. General Kelly has served with distinction and honor. He has born grave personal sacrifices. He has every right to speak in the manner he did today. But he also has to understand that while millions of Americans may be inclined to believe his sincerity and character, they have long since given up on those attributes when it comes to his boss.

Yes elections have consequences. But so do words and deeds."

First impressions are important, as are the continued impressions you build of other people (and that other people build of you). As a teacher, I rely immensely on the impressions I have of each of my students. I know that when "John" tells me that "Larry" hit him, and Larry says, "No, John hit me!", which one of them is more likely go have been the perpetrator due to past behavior, or if it is likely that it was just an accident or whatever. The specifics of each situation could be different, and maybe the usually "good" kid really did get angry and hit the kid that usually acts up. The chances are, though, that the kid that have previously try to hit other kids behind my back also did it this time. I try to be fair and listen to both sides and take evidence or other testimonies into account, but the fact is that my previous impressions of how these kids usually act heavily influence how I react. 

One of my favorite new TV shows is The Good Place, particularly because the writers play with the ideas of which kinds of characters are credible and what kinds of impressions they leave on the viewer. The show brings up lots of "gray area" situations where there isn't one clear cut right or wrong, and it pokes fun at people who try or want to do the right thing, but continuously act in ways that are not considered moral or ethical.

I suppose I'll end with the question: do I (you) act in a way on a regular basis that builds credibility with others?

DUFF-A Brings Home the Bronze

I'm proud to say that Mike's team, which is usually my ultimate frisbee team too, is bringing home the bronze medal from the mixed nationals tournament this weekend!

I love that it is so common and easy to stream games now from national and world tournaments. I love that I can watch my husband and friends playing live on my TV or my phone, and I can live chat my own commentary and heckling on What's App with my other friends that are watching from around the world too. Mike's little nephews event got to watch him play in Australia from their living room in New York. We often know one of the people who is doing the commentary too, since it's a small community, so it's funny to hear what they come up with on the spot, talking about their own friends and opponents. 

It was really fun back in June when we were at WCBU in France when I was watching one of the Australia games I got a message on my phone from a friend in Australia saying they could see me spectating in the corner of their screen, and I could wave to the camera when it panned around, live across the world. 

When I started playing 12 years ago, you could really only find out after a tournament how everyone placed. The fact that so many more games are getting taped means that there are more highlight reels and more people get exposed to the sport. Yay, technology!

Fear-mongering

There are good reasons to be concerned about some issues affecting today's world. There are legitimate reasons to be concerned about natural and environmental disasters, mass extinctions, climate change, social injustice, world leaders' abuse and misuse of power, disease, the spread of erroneous information, terrorism and violence, etc. I've seen a few articles recently that discuss this results of this year's survey of what Americans fear most, and what has changed since last year and past years. The media, advertising, and popular culture can stoke these fears; some publications do this more obviously and famously than others. People in your life can do this to you too - everyone has that one friend or family member that reads an article and then decides that everyone needs to be warned about one particular urgent issue.

The main way I see to combating the fear that one might have about any number of issues is to educate themselves on the topic (through multiple sources), and to act in whatever way possible (even if it's only in a small way). For example, I can't solve climate change, but I can take public transportation to reduce my carbon footprint. I can't stop all social injustice, but I can keep myself informed about what is happening in the world, vote for leaders who I think will fight for the causes I believe in, and I can educate young people through my work about what they can do. If I am concerned about the spread of misinformation, I can do research for a few minutes on the sources where I am getting my news and facts, to ensure that they are credible before passing on any info to others. 

One big source of fear-mongering info I've been dealing with lately has to do with mothers-to-be and what they should or should not do. The internet, articles, books, news stories, advertising, and people (some who might know you well and some who might not) are all very eager to tell you what you should do when you are pregnant or when you have a child, and they are also very eager to pass blame and guilt to moms, however their child(ren) end up. This is nothing new; mothers and mothers-to-be have been dealing with this for decades or longer. I've only been dealing with it for five months and I'm already over it. 

Here is my general advice for giving advice to mothers or mothers-to-be. Unless someone asks you for your advice about something, don't give it (with the exception of if they are doing something that is immediately dangerous to the child). They probably get enough advice, it's probably not wanted, it will probably be ignored, and they will just think you are annoying or that you think they are a bad parent. If you don't know the person that well (like, if you and that person have already discussed advice pertaining to a different scenario at some point), they probably don't want your advice about childbearing or childrearing because they haven't asked for your advice about anything else. Why would it be different because they are pregnant or they have a kid? I suppose there might be some scenarios where you legitimately have expertise about something pertaining to children's needs due to your experience, and in such a case you could probably tell an anecdote about what happened, what you did, and the result, without phrasing it as, "You need to..." or "Everyone should...". It is unlikely that from your one experience, you know what works in every situation. Your experience could give them insight they didn't even know to ask for, though. If they need it, great. If they don't need it, they have to do anything with the info and it's just another story you told. It takes a village to raise a child, but not everyone in the village has an equally weighted opinion about what happens to each child. 

That being said, I am grateful for all the support I've had so far from everyone. I feel confident that I am doing the right things for the most part, because I continue to educate myself on what I should do without paying attention to the extra fear-mongering. I haven't received any bad advice or been badgered by anyone yet, I just know that it has happened to friends of mine already. 

I suppose the over-arching theme here is to be knowledgable, positive, and helpful when possible, and to know one's own place and role. Whether it's in dealing with a mother-to-be or new parent, or another situation, we don't need to live in fear or stoke the fear of others. 

Sometimes There's Good News

Michael and I are cautiously optimistic that our ability to attain Aussie citizenship has tilted back in our favor! In the last year, while submitting our permanent residency application, we were unhappy when we were told that the law would be changing so that we would have to live here for four years as permanent residents before being allowed to become citizens, compared to the one year that it had previously been up until very recently. As it turns out, the law change did not fully go through, so the one year law remains for now and the foreseeable future. This means that we will more likely be able to become citizens and move back to the US as soon as we would like. 

Michael Goes to Nationals, Ronny Chills Out

Michael will be representing our local ultimate frisbee club at the Division II Nationals tournament this weekend in Nelson Bay, NSW. Last year they made it to the finals and brought home a silver medal, so hopefully they'll also do well this year. Living in the US, neither of us was able to make it remotely close to playing at Nationals. In Australia, it's pretty much a given that if we want to, we can play in three national tournaments during the year (mixed, mens/womens, and beach), and Michael has already played one world tournament and will hopefully play in a few more in the next few years. 

I will enjoy staying home and growing a baby, going to sleep in my own bed at a reasonable hour in addition to napping, brushing off the kitties' winter coats, Netflixing, eating lots of fruit and grilled cheese, perusing the farmers' market, and probably live-streaming the finals. The weather has been gorgeous lately (low 60s at night, and low 70s and sunny during the day), but the next day or two is supposed to be rainy, which we actually really need. When you haven't really had a rainy day for two months, actually getting one isn't so bad. Quiet weekends are my favorite these days. 

Hits from the 90's

Since I found out my childhood/high school friend died recently and I was hit with a case of nostalgia, I've been been going through the top hits for each year in the 90's on Spotify. It has been a pleasure to rediscover some damn good forgotten songs.

Personal Questions and Choices

Normally at work, I don't talk that much with many of my co-workers about non-work related things. I'm mostly working with the kids anyway, and I work so many different people for short periods of time during the week, and my schedule is always changing so that I work with even more different people. I don't build up any deeper relationships with many co-workers, and I'm completely fine with that considering I have a social life outside of work. Also, teaching = talking and socializing all day, so when I get a break during the day I'm happy for some quiet and solitude. 

Now that many of my coworkers know that I'm pregnant they have started asking me more personal questions and shown more interest in getting to know me. It's weird - it's this obvious growing physical thing that people that don't know you that well just want to talk to you about and either share about their experiences or ask you about yours. I actually had one particularly pleasant conversation with a co-worker and learned a lot about her that I hadn't already known because of this, so that was nice.

Anyway, the kids at the school where I work have also started asking me if I'm pregnant too, and they have no shame in the questions they ask or personal family details they want to share with me. When a group of 6th graders I know found out, they wanted to know my age, so I let them guess. After 10 guesses they got it right, and then they were all surprised that I was in my 30's because most of their moms had them when they were in their late teens or early 20's, because they are from cultures where literally child and teen marriage is common. They also said I look younger than all their moms even though I'm older (or at least older than the moms were when they had kids), which doesn't surprise me if the moms had to start living like adults from a young age. Then I got to hear all the stories like, "My cousin in Lebanon was married and had her first kid when she was 14". Needless to say, I had a lot of questions for these kids but I had to choose them carefully. Luckily, there seemed to be the consensus that none of them wanted to get married anywhere near that young, and they seemed kind of relieved to be living in Australia where that isn't the norm. They couldn't imagine getting married and dropping out of school in the next year or two of their lives.  

A lot of people around my age don't feel ready to make grown-up decisions now, much less would they have been 15 years ago. I already knew that there were cultures where there is no minimum age to marry, and there are organizations around the world that are working to change the laws. It's more of a reminder when learn that I'm one degree removed from people who are in that situation, though. 

It all goes back to the idea that education creates more life opportunities for people, particularly girls and women, and that's one reason that I am happy to be an educator. Having this view is why I think the idea that has sprung up in the last few years in the states that education is just for stuck up "coastal elites" is so absurd to me. Yes, that's a somewhat different issue because the cost of higher education in the US is so much less affordable than it is in other countries, an issue that needs to be addressed in the coming years, but the core idea about how much the pursuit of knowledge should be valued remains the same. It makes absolutely no sense to me how wanting to educate oneself and others, and working hard to create career and life opportunities for oneself, could be seen as a negative thing.

I think I've leap-frogged topics enough for this morning. I will end with this though: I am grateful that I grew up in a culture where I have had the choices of how much education I attained and when to start a family. Many people now and in future generations will not get those same choices. 

Coming Soon - Baby Chirlin - March 2018!

For those of you that did not already know, Michael and I are expecting to have a baby at the beginning of March 2018! Right now I'm just starting to get to the stage where I actually look pregnant, and not just like a have a beer gut or something. 

Navigating the Australian universal healthcare system so far has been a mostly positive and pleasant experience. It still feels strange to me to go in and get an ultrasound or have blood taken, and not pay a cent, like I'm getting away with something. It's pretty great. I'd almost feel guilty, except that I just feel happy and relieved that all the taxes I've paid are giving our family back something, just like they are theoretically supposed to. It'll also be nice when I get paid parental leave from the government for 18 weeks too. It's only minimum wage (which is currently just over $18/hr, over twice what minimum wage is in the US), but it's better than what the government and many companies in the US minimally offer - ie: nothing - not to mention that in the US most women have to use up all their sick and vacation days (not an issue here when one goes on maternity leave here). Thanks, Australia!

I actually have quite a few other friends, here and in the states, who have either just had babies in the last year or are expecting now. It's great because I've been able to get a ton of second hand maternity clothes for free, and I'm hoping we'll get a few hand-me-down baby items eventually too. It also means that our little one will also have other little playmates, no matter which group of friends or family we end up hanging out with. 

We plan to stay in our little one-bedroom apartment until a few months after the baby is born, and then we'll probably move to a two-bedroom. I know a one-bedroom would not be enough space for many couples/small families we know, but it suits us just fine. We love our neighborhood with lots of cafes, parks, two malls, friends' places, and public transport within walking distance. We have a carshare literally in front of our building if we want to throw the baby in and jaunt to the beach for an afternoon, or go on a little weekend camping trip. We love it. We'd also just rather not accumulate a lot of unnecessary stuff, since we still see ourselves as temporarily living here. Having limited space keeps us from collecting and storing too much. Also, occupying a smallish space means we don't need things like a baby monitor or baby gates for stairs. Living below one's means is highly underrated. We'll see if I still feel that way once the baby is a few months old, but I imagine having a second bedroom will be just right for us, while he/she is still young. The plan is still to move back to the states in the next few years, so we can live near family again. When, exactly, is still up in the air. 

For the moment, I'm the only one that currently knows the gender of the baby. We are seeing how long I can keep that secret - so far it's been four days. I think I have already surpassed Michael's expectations for giving it away, and I think if I last a week or two more he will be begging me to tell him. 

In other news, this week was Mike's birthday! We had a nice Thai dinner and did an escape room with friends, which we solved and exited with time to spare. I'm glad our baby will round out the calendar some - we have way too many family birthdays to celebrate in October, and she/he will only be one of a small handful in the February/March time. 

One Headlight

This morning I learned that a friend of mine that I went to school with for about 12 years, Colleen, passed away. She had fought and beat cancer several times, but this last time was going really rough and it seemed somewhat expected that this would happen. 

We were not best friends, but we were in the same clique through middle school and started high school together. This was a friend that I played basketball with for several years. We did school plays together. We went to sleepovers and concerts together. We wrote funny notes in classed or talked on the phone after school. When her sister was was sick and then died of cancer, I was there and I helped her catch up with her school work. When we were awkward pre-teens and teens, she was one of the people I looked to to see how I could act more confident and socially comfortable. Even though we grew apart and lived our own lives after high school, only occasionally talking on the phone or online, she was someone that had made a huge impact on my early life. 

Colleen never complained about the fact that her family had to deal with her sister fighting and dying of cancer. She didn't complain about her mom fighting and dying of cancer, and then her dad. She didn't complain about how cancer was so scarily prevalent in her family, it was just the way life was. She would remain positive and crack jokes. She became a nurse so she could help people and families like hers. And when it was her time to fight the same disease that took everyone older than her in her immediate family, she did it again and again because she was a fighter and that's what she did.

The world is not a fair place; if it was Colleen would still be here and healthy. Her spirit will live on in all the lives she touched while she was here. I'm ending this post with a song that I heard for the first time at a sleepover with her; we listened to it on repeat over and over again while we also stayed up too late eating junk food, watching movies, and a brief fiasco where I rode someone's go-kart around a backyard and crashed through some bushes. 

In a recent post I said I didn't miss being young all that much. Just today, just a little bit, I do miss being that young.

Youth Camp, take 2

I'm spending the last two mornings of my school holidays (the weekdays anyway) helping run a small ultimate frisbee youth camp. We did it this the same time of year time last year, and it's good to have a few familiar kids back, and a bunch of new ones. It is nice to work with kids outside of school, where they more likely have a choice of whether or not they want to be there. They're more fun and don't have nearly as much as attitude as some tweens tend to have when they're at school. We also get a lot of attendees that are kids of friends, or their friends, so usually they are a generally well-adjusted bunch that just want to be active and friendly and have good attitudes. We got off to a good start today and I'm hoping that tomorrow goes just as well. 

Compassion

I have this thing where it bothers me if my most recent blog post is negative, it bothers me until I'm able to post something more positive. So, my positive words for the day are brought to you by HH Dalai Lama. No matter what is happening in the world, just reading a few words by him remind me of what is important and good, and that other things matter less. 

Also, as a side note, Ronny has been posting these last few posts (despite what it says at the bottom). 

Learning to Fly

RIP Tom Petty. The world loses another talented musician. 

Update: Now, I'm not sure if he's dead? It's unclear if the news was erroneous - he may have just had a heart attack. Anyway, either way, let's celebrate his talent!

Another Day, Another Mass Shooting

And just after my recent post about how there are enough scary and terrible things happening in the world, another worst mass shooting ever happens in the US.

So many intelligent and reasonable people have said it a multitude of times, there is no reason for a private citizen to have access to any automatic or semi-automatic weapons, much less many of them. I vote for politicians who propose common-sense gun legislation. I contact them even after they're elected to make sure they know that I, as a constituent, see this as one of the important issues right now that needs to be addressed. Despite that, despite men, women, and children being killed constantly by guns in the US, nothing gets done to prevent it. I'm sick of it. 

This slippery slope argument about how any common sense laws are tantamount to the government taking away all our rights is the biggest load of garbage. Everyday, my right and the rights of millions of Americans to feel safe in a public place or even my own home is taken away because who knows when anyone will just show up with a semi-automatic weapon anywhere? The argument that more guns make us safe is also garbage, since it has been proven over and over again that areas with more access to guns have more gun deaths. Also, there were people at the concert in Las Vegas that had concealed carry guns with them that were useless during the type of assault that happened. The argument that, "outlaws will still have guns" is garbage too, since most of these mass shootings are performed by people who acquire their weapons legally. If five outlaws have some guns, we're still all literally safer than if thousands of people having them legally. 

I've brought up many times how Australia dealt with this exact issue, they severely cut back on the number of guns owned by individuals, and gun deaths went down dramatically. There hasn't been a mass shooting in the whole country in years. They are a nation that is very similar to the US in a lot of ways, and if they can do it and it can work here, it can work in the states. They haven't completely eliminated gun ownership, but they put in place COMMON SENSE LAWS. The US government continues to ignore the facts, and it disgusts me. 

When teens died at Columbine, we were all shocked. When children died at Sandy Hook I was disgusted. When people died at the Pulse night club, I was saddened. Hearing about Las Vegas now sickens me. These are all senseless tragedies that could have been prevented, and everyone who continues not to act for prevent them in some way is part of the problem and is responsible. It shouldn't have to take personal or family loss for more people to get involved to stop this violence. Every one of these events could have happened in any American city or town. 

I do what I can, from how I am involved in democracy, to how I try to educate the next generation in better ways to solve their problems than violence. My conscience is clear.