Fear-mongering

There are good reasons to be concerned about some issues affecting today's world. There are legitimate reasons to be concerned about natural and environmental disasters, mass extinctions, climate change, social injustice, world leaders' abuse and misuse of power, disease, the spread of erroneous information, terrorism and violence, etc. I've seen a few articles recently that discuss this results of this year's survey of what Americans fear most, and what has changed since last year and past years. The media, advertising, and popular culture can stoke these fears; some publications do this more obviously and famously than others. People in your life can do this to you too - everyone has that one friend or family member that reads an article and then decides that everyone needs to be warned about one particular urgent issue.

The main way I see to combating the fear that one might have about any number of issues is to educate themselves on the topic (through multiple sources), and to act in whatever way possible (even if it's only in a small way). For example, I can't solve climate change, but I can take public transportation to reduce my carbon footprint. I can't stop all social injustice, but I can keep myself informed about what is happening in the world, vote for leaders who I think will fight for the causes I believe in, and I can educate young people through my work about what they can do. If I am concerned about the spread of misinformation, I can do research for a few minutes on the sources where I am getting my news and facts, to ensure that they are credible before passing on any info to others. 

One big source of fear-mongering info I've been dealing with lately has to do with mothers-to-be and what they should or should not do. The internet, articles, books, news stories, advertising, and people (some who might know you well and some who might not) are all very eager to tell you what you should do when you are pregnant or when you have a child, and they are also very eager to pass blame and guilt to moms, however their child(ren) end up. This is nothing new; mothers and mothers-to-be have been dealing with this for decades or longer. I've only been dealing with it for five months and I'm already over it. 

Here is my general advice for giving advice to mothers or mothers-to-be. Unless someone asks you for your advice about something, don't give it (with the exception of if they are doing something that is immediately dangerous to the child). They probably get enough advice, it's probably not wanted, it will probably be ignored, and they will just think you are annoying or that you think they are a bad parent. If you don't know the person that well (like, if you and that person have already discussed advice pertaining to a different scenario at some point), they probably don't want your advice about childbearing or childrearing because they haven't asked for your advice about anything else. Why would it be different because they are pregnant or they have a kid? I suppose there might be some scenarios where you legitimately have expertise about something pertaining to children's needs due to your experience, and in such a case you could probably tell an anecdote about what happened, what you did, and the result, without phrasing it as, "You need to..." or "Everyone should...". It is unlikely that from your one experience, you know what works in every situation. Your experience could give them insight they didn't even know to ask for, though. If they need it, great. If they don't need it, they have to do anything with the info and it's just another story you told. It takes a village to raise a child, but not everyone in the village has an equally weighted opinion about what happens to each child. 

That being said, I am grateful for all the support I've had so far from everyone. I feel confident that I am doing the right things for the most part, because I continue to educate myself on what I should do without paying attention to the extra fear-mongering. I haven't received any bad advice or been badgered by anyone yet, I just know that it has happened to friends of mine already. 

I suppose the over-arching theme here is to be knowledgable, positive, and helpful when possible, and to know one's own place and role. Whether it's in dealing with a mother-to-be or new parent, or another situation, we don't need to live in fear or stoke the fear of others.