Average Tuesday Update

My team came in third at trivia on Monday, which sounds decent until I tell you we were first and fell from grace, as happens probably 75% of the time. 

The weather has been cooling off to a more mild/pleasant temp, which is really great so I don't have to take 2-3 showers a day to keep cool anymore, or wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I'm on fire.

I've been spending a lot of time lately hanging out with other mommas and mommas-to-be. Food is always involved.

I'm terrible at sleeping properly and only getting worse. After a few hours at a time I can't get comfortable anymore. Boo.

We have been re-watching Parks and Recreation all the way through again because it is quite possibly the most re-watchable series, in my humble opinion. The show ended three years ago, but it's just as poignant as ever, during these times where politics are so polarized. I think Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson's friendship, despite their polar opposite beliefs about the role of government, could save the world, or at least make it a better place. Not to mention, this recent story made me fall in love with the cast all over again.

I'm going to cook some gnocchi now, because it's delicious.

Video Killed the Radio Star

The thought occurred to me recently that there are no current good/well-known bands (at least none that I am aware of) that are putting out songs about all the weird stuff that is happening around the world, politically and in current events. It's possible that there are some out there, and maybe this is just a sign of my age and how I learned to acquire music when there was a different way to share and be into it (when there were actual physical stores where people would hangout and you'd find out what was coming out soon, and when you would make intentional mix tapes or CD's for friends, etc.). Anyway, the only example I can really think of in recent years was MIA's "Borders". Everything else that is out right now just seems to be the typical pop stuff about love and breakups and partying. Maybe it's just the long trough after a peak, since it kind of goes up and down - the 60's and 70's gave us a lot of politically inspired music, then the 80's were a lot of pop, and then 90's and early 2000's music was more socially and politically driven again. It just feels like we're long overdue for some substantive musical commentary again. 

It anyone has recommendations of new stuff that is good along the lines of what I'm talking about, I'm all ears. 

The Topic of the Hour

There is this strange idea that many Americans have that people in other countries do not, that guns = freedom and freedom = guns. This idea gets extended to the more seemingly personal the idea that if anyone wants there to be less guns, they are trying to take away your individual freedom. Thinking like this simply doesn't exist in other countries for the most part, because no other country's national identity was forged so much in the idea of taking up arms against an oppressive regime. 

In almost all other developed countries, people want their governments and police forces to protect them, and they see less guns as freedom from having to fear rampant gun violence.  They see access to education, healthcare, paid parental leave, and other resources and services as freedom to do what they want with their lives. 

I honestly feel sorry for anyone that equates freedom exclusively with access to guns. There is so much more to life than that. It's also sad because it goes hand in hand with this paranoid way of looking at life, like there's always someone out there looking to attack or take advantage of you. I'm not suggesting one should be naive and trust everyone, but it's sad if someone always feels like life is "me vs. them" or "me vs. the world" - how lonely. It's what can ultimately lead to the toxic thoughts that foment in the kinds of people who tend to perpetrate gun violence. In other countries where freedom isn't equated with guns, where there aren't anywhere near as many guns as people, there isn't this same paranoia that someone is out to get you behind every corner. Police don't come on every scene treating everyone they deal with like they could have an assault weapon, because the chances are very minuscule, whereas in the states police sometimes accidentally shoot people during routine traffic stops because they feel they need to react as though everyone is armed.

Which leads me to this idea of arming teachers with the goal of keeping students safe from gun violence. It's absurd for many reasons.

1 - I don't know a single teacher who wants to be armed or wants there to be more guns around them than there already might be. If you show me a teacher who wants to be armed, I would question their motives for becoming a teacher in the first place. Most become educators because they want to mentor and better the lives of their students and empower them with knowledge to solve problems. Guns and violence are the antithesis of this. So, even if the law changed and teachers could carry guns, very few, if any, would. As a teacher, being expected to use a weapon or take a bullet for my students should not now, or ever be, part of my job description.

2 - The gun would have to be locked away safe from students, so then it wouldn't be easily accessible. If it's too accessible, a student could get access to it and start an incident.

3 - In an active shooter scenario, anyone else who also shows a firearm that isn't wearing a police or SWAT uniform could easily be confused as a perpetrator and then get shot, or at least make the real law enforcement take longer to figure out who the perpetrator is

4 - Educators are already paying for many of their supplies out of their own pockets. Many schools cannot afford to give teachers the resources they need to teach, or pay them what they are worth, and now there would be another huge cost added on top of that? Yeah right. 

This current national conversation angers me because it wastes time and takes away from actual productive solutions being offered and considered. 

Numerous countries have dealt with their gun control issues and successfully reduced the number of incidents and people killed, and all of them have done it by somehow reducing the number of guns in circulation and making access more difficult. This is fact. Anyone who argues that more guns make people safe is willfully ignorant at this point. If that were true, America would be the safest nation in the world instead of one of the most dangerous, in terms of gun violence. 

There are thousands, maybe millions of American teens who are speaking out against violence because they have already seen enough in their lifetimes. That doesn't seem radical or hard to believe at all to me, and yet the conspiracy theories are swirling. In any case, I have hope that something will change as long as the people don't let this topic just fall by the wayside yet again. I don't want to hear anymore sickening news stories that could have been prevented by the implementation of common sense laws, like banning assault weapons and improving background checks. There is no reason it should be easier to get a gun in Florida than it is to vote. 

Birthday Fun

Michael is a pretty good frisbee player, code writer, cat trainer, boardgamer, knitter, and miniature painter. He's perhaps most talented at planning birthdays, though. He is somehow able to produce professional quality projects, whereas when I make things they look crafty and homemade. 

He surprised me by taking the day off work on my birthday and planning a full day of fun activities, with some relaxing moments in between. It was kind of like being on vacation in our own city for a day, and most importantly, he had booked a carshare for the day in order to chauffeur my pregnant self around. We kicked it off with breakfast sandwiches, there were a few clues and puzzles to solve that he devised in order for me to acquire/plan the day's schedule, yoga, boardgaming, a foot massage, lunch with a friend and her mom and bub, time to read on the beach, my first ever birthday swim in one of the oceanside pools (the waves weren't safe to swim in, and when you're born in February in the northern hemisphere, you never get to have a pool party), a short nap, delicious dinner at Pony on the Rocks, walking around Circular Quay for the Chinese New Year lantern festival, gelato from Messina, and we finished it off with a movie at home. It was a full schedule, but every activity was enjoyable in my current state. I've been lucky to have some pretty spectacular birthdays in the last several years, whether they were personalized clue scavenger hunts from Michael, hiking in Taiwan, ski trips, or special weekends with out-of-town friends. My "last birthday where I matter" as Michael jokingly calls it (meaning the last one where I am not a mom yet and have to always worry about someone else), was better than I thought it would be, and was really just as perfect as it could have been in the absence of some of my friends and family from home. So far, I have no complaints about 35.

Black Panther

We saw Black Panther tonight. I liked the cast, as there were many actors and actresses from other shows and movies I like. I particularly like Danai Gurira as a general (of course, since I'm a TWD fan), Angela Bassett was a gorgeous and regal choice for the mother, and Forrest Whitaker, Daniel Kaluuya, Michael B. Jordan, and Andy Serkis were all great familiar faces in new roles. The oddest choice, though, was Martin Freeman as an American. I like Martin Freeman, but even with an American accent, he doesn't act or look particularly American. Anyway, it was great to see a predominantly African American cast carry a movie a mainstream Marvel movie, with only two white token (or in this case, Tolkien, since they were both from the LOTR movies!) characters. I'm not that big of a comic book/super hero movie fan, other than the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, so it was nice to see Marvel do something different from their usual formula. 

Apparently the African accents were all over the map, which bothered lots of people, but since I am too ignorant to discern the difference between a lot of them, I didn't dwell on it. The only one I noticed was Andy Serkis sounding South African, which seemed to make sense to enough to me.

One thing I thought that was contradictory was that the Wakanda people are this advanced and intelligent society that would rarely resort to violence, and yet the way they confirm their new leader is with hand-to-hand combat. Huh? Why?

There was a lot of interesting social commentary in the film, some of it I'm sure went over my head as someone who is neither African nor African American. The main theme I got most from it was the general dialogue about whether or not those that are well off have a responsibility to help those that are not, and how it creates inner conflict for individuals, and outer conflict between groups. I'm sure someone of a different background would read differently into the conflicts between characters and cultures, so it would be interesting to talk about it with a diverse group of people. 

Amazing Things Will Happen

One of my all-time favorite speeches... an oldie but a goodie...

Sick. Of. This.

I try to even out my posts so that if I have posted negative stuff recently, I balance it with something positive. It's hard to do that today. As many people are, I am still very bothered about the most recent school shooting in the US, and all of the ones that have happened in the last many years. Every time it happens, I like to think more people will be called to action, but it's never enough to get anything to change. We hear the same arguments on both sides and nothing changes. I do hope that these kids and all survivors from these incidents will continue to be more vocal and involved so that something might actually change this tine.

These shootings bother me because I am a human being and I feel bad for those that have to live through these senseless tragedies. They bother me because I am going to be a mother and I am going to have to worry when my child eventually attends a school in the US and I will have to drop them off wondering what could happen to them. These incidents bother me because I am a teacher, and using your body as a shield to protect your students is not, and should not, be in the job description. 

Maybe all politicians should have to spend a day or more with a survivor or the surviving family members a victim has left behind, and hear about the horror they've had to live through and how it still affects them every day. Maybe then it would be easier to say, "No thanks" to that extra donation from the NRA, and maybe then they'd realize, oh yeah, this should have been a huge priority a long time ago. And, maybe people that want to own guns should also have to do the same. They should have to talk to real victims of gun violence one-on-one, so they have to think about the real consequences of what more guns circulating in our society lead to. Try explaining to someone who's had to bury their child or who can no longer feel from the waist down why your right to own a gun is more important than their rights.

I just honestly don't understand people's priorities at this point when it is crystal clear that more regulations on gun ownership and usage would at least lessen the problem - just like they have done in so many other developed countries and had positive results.  It is also painfully obvious that mental health is a big problem in the US, and cutting healthcare and services to the people that need them isn't going to make it any better. There is no reason that a teen who showed many obvious warning signs in advance of the incident should have had such easy access to many guns, let alone one. It just really disgusts me that people who have the power to do something continue to let this happen over and over again.  Literally every time this happens, The Onion reposts the same article, changing only a few minor lines. It remains true every time, disappointingly. 

This is not a situation that has no solution. There are infinite possible solutions, and many different models that we could try, and the US has yet to try one. I'm sick of excuses and arguments. I'm sick of thoughts and prayers. The only thing I want to see now is action. Anything less isn't good enough. Clearly, not acting has yielded continuous shootings. At this point, everyone in charge who has so far been unwilling to act in some way should be replaced with those willing to try something. Even for those who think gun control is not the answer; fine then, what's your plan for mental health or school safety or some other angle? If you don't have a possible plan or solution? Get out, then. Make room for people that have a backbone. I'm sick of this.

This morning's mood...

Post-Valentines Day Post

Personally, I think Valentine's Day is kind of stupid. It often gets away from its ideal purpose of making everyone feel loved, and instead ends up guilting people into spending lots of money on their significant others, hyping up some to feel let down, or to make some single people feel bad about themselves even though there's nothing wrong with them. I've thought this whether or not I'm single or in a relationship on the particular day. That's why I don't often say much about it. And, showing someone you care about them shouldn't have to be a showy thing. I would question someone's motives if they either need to be so public about how wonderful their relationship is, or if they need the person they date to be so showy about their feelings. Like, dude, why do you need so much attention from everyone else seeing how good your relationship is, if it's really so good? People shouldn't need a specific day of the year to show how much they care about the people around them; theoretically, they should just do it regularly anyway. I'm a firm believer that it's more meaningful to surprise a significant other with flowers or a little thoughtful gesture any random day of the year than on Valentine's Day. 

All that being said, Michael and I did what we usually do on Valentine's Day, which is have a chill dinner at an ordinary restaurant both of us like. We went to Vapiano's, a regular favorite of ours, since I was craving pasta. It was great in a very ordinary way. I hope everyone else had an enjoyable enough V-Day as well.

Here We Go Again

Jim Jeffries is great. On a day where there has been yet another shooting at a school in the US, lots of us could stand to hear this and this again.

Cox Farms

I am fascinated by a thread I recently saw. Cox Farms, a local family business in Centreville, VA (close to my hometown, and a business we have patronized in the past) recently posted on their business sign, "Resist White Supremacy". On their facebook page, along with a photo of the sign, they posted this (view the original and thread here):

Our little roadside signs have power. Most of the time, they let folks know that our hanging baskets are on sale, that today’s sweet corn is the best ever, that Santa will be at the market this weekend, or that the Fall Festival will be closed due to rain. During the off-season, sometimes we utilize them differently. Sometimes, we try to offer a smile on a daily commute. Sometimes, a message of support and inclusion to a community that is struggling makes someone’s day. Sometimes the messages on our signs make people think… and sometimes, they make some people angry.

Last week, some of our customers and neighbors asked us to clarify the sentiment behind our sign that said “Rise & Resist.” So, we changed it to read “Rise Up Against Injustice” and “Resist White Supremacy.” We sincerely believe that fighting injustice and white supremacy is a responsibility that can- and should- unite us all. We struggle to see how anyone other than self-identified white supremacists would take this as a personal attack. 

Some have asked why we feel called to have such a message on our signs at all. Here is why:

Cox Farms is a small family-owned and family-operated business. The five of us are not just business-owners; we are human beings, members of the community, and concerned citizens of this country. We are also a family, and our shared values and principles are central to our business.

We’re not seeking to alienate folks who have different perspectives on tax reform or infrastructure spending. But when it comes to speaking out against systems of oppression and injustice, we see it as our moral responsibility to use our position of privilege and power, along with the tools of our trade and the platforms available to us, to engage visibly and actively in the fight for justice. Our roadside sign messages are one small way we do this. 

Some folks have expressed that they would prefer not to know where we stand. We appreciate that being an informed consumer can sometimes be exhausting, disappointing, and frustrating. It can involve making hard choices about values and priorities. We respect that some have decided to no longer patronize our business as a result. We also know that there are some who may see our signs, roll their eyes, and still choose to come back for the kettle corn. We get it.

Desmond Tutu said, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” We consider the present state of our country to be far beyond partisan bickering or politics as usual. We see our nation in crisis, and peoples’ lives and safety and humanity are hanging in the balance. We are gravely concerned about the hateful words, destructive actions, and detrimental policies coming from this administration. We are not neutral, and we will not feign neutrality to appease our customers. We are committed to speaking out for love and justice, even if it costs us some business.

Almost twenty years ago, some visitors started a boycott because we fly rainbow flags over our hay tunnel, and they were concerned that Cox Farms was “promoting the homosexual agenda.” A few years ago, some folks got very angry about the Black Lives Matter sign hanging in a window of an owner’s home on the farm. Last year, some locals took offense at our “We love our Muslim neighbors” and “Immigrants make America great!” sign messages. What do all of the messages have in common? They are statements of inclusion. They attempt to tell members of our community, people that might feel discriminated against or alienated in a particular moment, “Hey, you are welcome here, too.” To our customers and neighbors that feel that this is somehow a divisive stance, we ask you to reflect on the possibility that your lived experience may be one that hasn’t necessitated a message of inclusion to make you feel welcome.

We’re not strangers to controversy or hard conversations. When we take a stand, we do so knowing that it could hurt our bottom line, and we are comfortable taking that risk. As a family, we know that when you’re on the right side of history, love wins. Right now, it means that some people in our community no longer feel comfortable supporting our business, and we respect that. While our intention was not to make anyone feel unwelcome, we certainly respect every consumer’s right to decide which businesses to support in our community.

The post has since (as of this writing, at least) been shared over 12,000 times, liked/reacted to 37,000 times, and commented on over 5,000 times. The comments span all different reactions, from support to anger. Some people have decided they will now boycott the business, while others have decided they go out of their way to support it. Some people are upset because they claim that the business is showing political affiliation or too much political correctness or even divisiveness, while others praise the inclusivity of this and other past posts. Probably every American who reads several of the comments will find some with which they agree, and some with which they are disgusted.

This is not the first business to advertise the personal political leanings of its owners. Chic-Fil-A is known for being a business owned by very religious people, and they sometimes make company-wde decisions based on this. Lots of large companies lobby the federal government in the US based on their interests, on both sides of the aisle. Here in Australia, Several businesses here in the Sydney area showed their support for the "Yes" same-sex marriage campaign, with signs and rainbow flags.

What I find so fascinating about this Cox Farms post, is that 15 or more years ago, "Resist White Supremacy" would not have been a particularly controversial thing to say. It has become a politically-charged thing to say. Cox Farms posted this completely acknowledging that they knew it would alienate some, and they were satisfied with this business decision.

Personally, I happen to agree with the post and have no problem with anything they have said or done. It's no different to what many other businesses do, if only perhaps more overt, and if some people don't like it, they don't have to give their money to the business.The widely varied reaction is just so indicative of where the US has gone as a fractured society in recent years, and it's kind of sad. Everything has gotten so warped that there are people who probably otherwise would seem quite moderate, and they find themselves somehow going against the concept being against white supremacy, and in doing so, aligning themselves with the white supremacists. These people are essentially sticking up for white supremacy in their arguments, and yet they claim they are not racist. And then, those people are getting very sensitive about being then called racists. There are people who feel like they are somehow being personally and/or politically attacked by words on a sign or in a Facebook post, even though there is nothing individualized about it.The whole thing is bizarre to me.

When I was a kid, pumpkins and cider had nothing to do with politics, and Virginia was for lovers. These days, taking a family trip down to the pumpkin patch (or not) is a political action, and Virginia is full of lovers, haters, and everything in between.

Standard Issue Weekend

It was a pleasant weekend. We spent time with friends at the pool, played boardgames, ate out, and went to frisbee (Mike played and I spectated and socialized). I found out that yet another frisbee person I know is pregnant, this one with twins. This is good news since we should definitely be able to pass on any baby stuff we don't need anymore once we're done with it. It's also good because there will be another baby for our daughter to play with on the sideline. There will be enough around that we could probably start a team of babies. They wouldn't be very good, though. 

Lady Bird

I enjoyed seeing Lady Bird last night. Since the main character was a teenager attending Catholic high school right around the same time period I was, it was a little nostalgic. It was just like a little slice of life from that time period, and about the decisions young adults have to make, particularly ones that people had to make at this time when some families had to deal with a parent getting laid off and adjusting to post 9-11 life. Saoirse Ronan did a great job with her character, and the dialogue was realistic and funny. The movie fits into the "coming-of-age" category, without dealing with any one particular intense topic, like those kinds of movies tend to do. I can see why it got good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but I'm surprised how high they were, just considering its independent vibe. Particularly for people close to my age, I'd recommend Lady Bird for sure. 

Rereading 1984

I finally acquired a paperback copy of 1984 and am rereading it for the first time in over 15 years. I suggest that if you can get your hands on a copy, you do the same. George Orwell was such a genius, and everything that he talked about decades ago is happening now. 

This Is Us - Jack

(Spoiler Alert) 

So after all this time and mental and emotional preparation, we finally see how Jack dies on This Is Us. I have to say, I was a little disappointed. It was like when we thought Glenn died on TWD, but then he was really under a dumpster, but then he really got his head smashed in. The original false death would have been more shocking and more interesting in some ways for the character arcs, so they should have just gone with it. Instead, it just kind of seems wishy washy, like the writers can't decide if they want to really kill a character or not. 

Also, on This Is Us, the death happens too fast. We're supposed to believe that someone went from talking and completely coherent to completely dead beyond resuscitation in about five minutes. There wasn't even any medical staff still in the room remotely trying to do anything. Worst hospital ever. 

Phantom Thread

I went and saw Phantom Thread last night with two friends. I'm happy there is a new Palace Cinemas a ten minute walk away - they show a lot of foreign and independent films - and you can watch your movie eating a fancy charcuterie plate and wine, if you so desire. As a promo this week, they have been doing $5 tickets for movies that were nominated for big awards. When I first started going to the movies with friends, movies were $4, instead of $20+. Those were the days.

(Spoiler Alert) Anyway, what can I say about Phantom Thread? Somewhat predictably, Daniel Day Lewis plays a wierdo/overly particular jerk/fashion genius. That much you can tell from the trailers. Then the end of the movie takes a masochistic turn that none of us could foresee. That turn? He finds out he is being occasionally poisoned by his wife and likes it, and it saves their relationship. He likes getting violently ill every once in a while and then having her nurse him back to health. Um... what? It was a unique ending, I'll give it that. For the most part, I enjoyed watching it - it was a pretty movie, and it's not really like anything else out there. But... what? I guess I just can't relate. 

A Domesticated Weekend

In my previous post, "Prologue" I talked about one of my friends who recently had her baby. On Friday, we brought the happy couple some dinner and met Baby Finn. He's obviously pretty adorable, but can't really do anything yet, only being a week old. The new parents seem to be happy and doing well, so that helps us remain optimistic that the first few weeks aren't always as chaotic as some people say they are (although there can be the occasional times that things seem crazy or overwhelming). Finn didn't fuss much and the parents were able to sit and eat a whole meal. 

We are particularly lucky that Finn is a boy because that means we just inherited a lot of his cousin, Isabelle's, baby clothes. We have been really lucky to have many friends and acquaintances whose children are old enough that we are receiving their hand-me-downs. I'm also about to acquire another bunch of toys and baby items from another couple we know who have a one year old; they are moving to the UK and need to get rid of a bunch of stuff. It's nice to have our little place in the system where we acquire things, and then we already know a few people to whom we will be able to pass the same things on when we don't need them anymore. It's nice to save money, but it's also nice to not create more waste than is necessary. There's already enough crap in in the landfills of the world, and babies outgrow stuff so fast.

Saturday was pretty quiet. I was able to finally try the nearby cafe, Twenty 8 Acres, where we can get bacon and egg sandwiches, now that the bike cafe no longer exists. Yay for being able resume our weekend ritual! Then, I just ran some errands in the morning while Michael went for a workout, and then we played some boardgames in the evening with a friend. 

Sunday morning was for facetiming family and then breakfast at WD Side Cafe. Aussies just know how to do good breakfast cafes, what can I say. 

It has been a quiet, but enjoyable weekend.

Will Work

For the majority of the 2017 school year, I had regular work at the same school, and feel somewhat into a routine. I got to know the same kids and staff over a period of time, and have the same general schedule and responsibilities from week to week. Even though I wasn't full-time staff, I was essentially treated like I was. 

Since I am planning to go on maternity leave after the first few weeks of this school year, I don't have anything longterm set up and I am just on-call as a substitute. The first few days of the year are expected to be slow, and then after that work usually picks up. It has been several months since I had to play this game of getting up around 6AM, getting dressed, packing a bag for the day, and then seeing if I get a call. Aside from the very first and last days of the year, most of the time I get booked a day or more in advance, and if not, there's perhaps an 85-95% chance that I get a call to go work on a given day. But, like I said, the beginning of this year is a little different. For two days I've gotten up and gotten ready and not gotten a call. The third time's a charm, and I got a call at the last minute this morning at a school in my old neighborhood, where I used to work from time to time but hadn't worked in a year. It was good to be back at the old stomping grounds, and to run into a few old familiar faces. The demographics in that area are less challenging than the school where I had been recently teaching a lot (there are a lot fewer kids and parents that speak English as a second language, or don't speak English at all), so it was just nice for the temporary change. 

I can now rest easy knowing that my paid parental leave is safe (I cannot have an eight week gap in my employment, and with the recent summer holidays it had been six weeks).