PAX AUS (take 3)

This weekend, Michael and I will be enjoying PAX AUS and The Book of Mormon musical. We are looking forward to being entertained, and spending time with friends for a short getaway. 

Pikachuesday

This video is actually kind of old, but I just felt like posting something funny today regardless. My favorite part is when they try to bring the deflating guy out again and then the suit fails again. We've all had those days where we relate to a deflating Pikachu...

Credibility and Impressions

Many people know my age and older are familiar with the journalist, Dan Rather. For those that don't know, he is actually quite active on social media these days, and often poignantly points out his observations of current events. On Oct. 20, he posted this as a reflection about what has happened in the new recently. I think he brings up avery good point about "credibility" regardless of one's political affiliation:

"This is what happens when you lose credibility. This is what happens when you lie repeatedly about issues big and small. This is what happens when you foment divisions and show no remorse. This is what happens when your words have no meaning. You lose the benefit of the doubt.

Today John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff issued an emotional defense of President Donald Trump's phone call to the widow of a fallen soldier. He opened up about the death of his own son in combat. He claimed that Mr. Trump was being sensitive. He said he hadn't meant to criticize previous presidents when he said he wasn't sure if they made calls to the fallen. He criticised the conclusion of a Democratic congresswoman who shared her vantage point of the call. Everything that Mr. Kelly said may be true. Or maybe not. This could fall legitimately in the grey area of different interpretations, at least in cases where the president isn't Donald Trump.

Why did millions of Americans jump to the conclusion that Mr. Trump was criticizing President Obama with his words? Because that is what Mr. Trump always does, including questioning whether President Obama was a real American. Why did millions of Americans not trust Mr. Trump's denials about what he said and that he had proof? Because Mr. Trump repeatedly lies about what he says and what he means. Why did millions of Americans assume that Mr. Trump could not feel empathy for the death of Sgt. La David T. Johnson? Because he has shown no empathy for the people of Puerto Rico still suffering from a hurricane without power or safe drinking water. Why did millions of Americans think that Mr. Trump could disrespect American servicemen and women? Because he attacked a war hero and a Gold Star Family during the presidential campaign.

The impression of Mr. Trump that fueled the narrative around this phone call is one for which Mr. Trump has only himself to blame. General Kelly has served with distinction and honor. He has born grave personal sacrifices. He has every right to speak in the manner he did today. But he also has to understand that while millions of Americans may be inclined to believe his sincerity and character, they have long since given up on those attributes when it comes to his boss.

Yes elections have consequences. But so do words and deeds."

First impressions are important, as are the continued impressions you build of other people (and that other people build of you). As a teacher, I rely immensely on the impressions I have of each of my students. I know that when "John" tells me that "Larry" hit him, and Larry says, "No, John hit me!", which one of them is more likely go have been the perpetrator due to past behavior, or if it is likely that it was just an accident or whatever. The specifics of each situation could be different, and maybe the usually "good" kid really did get angry and hit the kid that usually acts up. The chances are, though, that the kid that have previously try to hit other kids behind my back also did it this time. I try to be fair and listen to both sides and take evidence or other testimonies into account, but the fact is that my previous impressions of how these kids usually act heavily influence how I react. 

One of my favorite new TV shows is The Good Place, particularly because the writers play with the ideas of which kinds of characters are credible and what kinds of impressions they leave on the viewer. The show brings up lots of "gray area" situations where there isn't one clear cut right or wrong, and it pokes fun at people who try or want to do the right thing, but continuously act in ways that are not considered moral or ethical.

I suppose I'll end with the question: do I (you) act in a way on a regular basis that builds credibility with others?

DUFF-A Brings Home the Bronze

I'm proud to say that Mike's team, which is usually my ultimate frisbee team too, is bringing home the bronze medal from the mixed nationals tournament this weekend!

I love that it is so common and easy to stream games now from national and world tournaments. I love that I can watch my husband and friends playing live on my TV or my phone, and I can live chat my own commentary and heckling on What's App with my other friends that are watching from around the world too. Mike's little nephews event got to watch him play in Australia from their living room in New York. We often know one of the people who is doing the commentary too, since it's a small community, so it's funny to hear what they come up with on the spot, talking about their own friends and opponents. 

It was really fun back in June when we were at WCBU in France when I was watching one of the Australia games I got a message on my phone from a friend in Australia saying they could see me spectating in the corner of their screen, and I could wave to the camera when it panned around, live across the world. 

When I started playing 12 years ago, you could really only find out after a tournament how everyone placed. The fact that so many more games are getting taped means that there are more highlight reels and more people get exposed to the sport. Yay, technology!

Fear-mongering

There are good reasons to be concerned about some issues affecting today's world. There are legitimate reasons to be concerned about natural and environmental disasters, mass extinctions, climate change, social injustice, world leaders' abuse and misuse of power, disease, the spread of erroneous information, terrorism and violence, etc. I've seen a few articles recently that discuss this results of this year's survey of what Americans fear most, and what has changed since last year and past years. The media, advertising, and popular culture can stoke these fears; some publications do this more obviously and famously than others. People in your life can do this to you too - everyone has that one friend or family member that reads an article and then decides that everyone needs to be warned about one particular urgent issue.

The main way I see to combating the fear that one might have about any number of issues is to educate themselves on the topic (through multiple sources), and to act in whatever way possible (even if it's only in a small way). For example, I can't solve climate change, but I can take public transportation to reduce my carbon footprint. I can't stop all social injustice, but I can keep myself informed about what is happening in the world, vote for leaders who I think will fight for the causes I believe in, and I can educate young people through my work about what they can do. If I am concerned about the spread of misinformation, I can do research for a few minutes on the sources where I am getting my news and facts, to ensure that they are credible before passing on any info to others. 

One big source of fear-mongering info I've been dealing with lately has to do with mothers-to-be and what they should or should not do. The internet, articles, books, news stories, advertising, and people (some who might know you well and some who might not) are all very eager to tell you what you should do when you are pregnant or when you have a child, and they are also very eager to pass blame and guilt to moms, however their child(ren) end up. This is nothing new; mothers and mothers-to-be have been dealing with this for decades or longer. I've only been dealing with it for five months and I'm already over it. 

Here is my general advice for giving advice to mothers or mothers-to-be. Unless someone asks you for your advice about something, don't give it (with the exception of if they are doing something that is immediately dangerous to the child). They probably get enough advice, it's probably not wanted, it will probably be ignored, and they will just think you are annoying or that you think they are a bad parent. If you don't know the person that well (like, if you and that person have already discussed advice pertaining to a different scenario at some point), they probably don't want your advice about childbearing or childrearing because they haven't asked for your advice about anything else. Why would it be different because they are pregnant or they have a kid? I suppose there might be some scenarios where you legitimately have expertise about something pertaining to children's needs due to your experience, and in such a case you could probably tell an anecdote about what happened, what you did, and the result, without phrasing it as, "You need to..." or "Everyone should...". It is unlikely that from your one experience, you know what works in every situation. Your experience could give them insight they didn't even know to ask for, though. If they need it, great. If they don't need it, they have to do anything with the info and it's just another story you told. It takes a village to raise a child, but not everyone in the village has an equally weighted opinion about what happens to each child. 

That being said, I am grateful for all the support I've had so far from everyone. I feel confident that I am doing the right things for the most part, because I continue to educate myself on what I should do without paying attention to the extra fear-mongering. I haven't received any bad advice or been badgered by anyone yet, I just know that it has happened to friends of mine already. 

I suppose the over-arching theme here is to be knowledgable, positive, and helpful when possible, and to know one's own place and role. Whether it's in dealing with a mother-to-be or new parent, or another situation, we don't need to live in fear or stoke the fear of others. 

Sometimes There's Good News

Michael and I are cautiously optimistic that our ability to attain Aussie citizenship has tilted back in our favor! In the last year, while submitting our permanent residency application, we were unhappy when we were told that the law would be changing so that we would have to live here for four years as permanent residents before being allowed to become citizens, compared to the one year that it had previously been up until very recently. As it turns out, the law change did not fully go through, so the one year law remains for now and the foreseeable future. This means that we will more likely be able to become citizens and move back to the US as soon as we would like. 

Michael Goes to Nationals, Ronny Chills Out

Michael will be representing our local ultimate frisbee club at the Division II Nationals tournament this weekend in Nelson Bay, NSW. Last year they made it to the finals and brought home a silver medal, so hopefully they'll also do well this year. Living in the US, neither of us was able to make it remotely close to playing at Nationals. In Australia, it's pretty much a given that if we want to, we can play in three national tournaments during the year (mixed, mens/womens, and beach), and Michael has already played one world tournament and will hopefully play in a few more in the next few years. 

I will enjoy staying home and growing a baby, going to sleep in my own bed at a reasonable hour in addition to napping, brushing off the kitties' winter coats, Netflixing, eating lots of fruit and grilled cheese, perusing the farmers' market, and probably live-streaming the finals. The weather has been gorgeous lately (low 60s at night, and low 70s and sunny during the day), but the next day or two is supposed to be rainy, which we actually really need. When you haven't really had a rainy day for two months, actually getting one isn't so bad. Quiet weekends are my favorite these days. 

Hits from the 90's

Since I found out my childhood/high school friend died recently and I was hit with a case of nostalgia, I've been been going through the top hits for each year in the 90's on Spotify. It has been a pleasure to rediscover some damn good forgotten songs.

Personal Questions and Choices

Normally at work, I don't talk that much with many of my co-workers about non-work related things. I'm mostly working with the kids anyway, and I work so many different people for short periods of time during the week, and my schedule is always changing so that I work with even more different people. I don't build up any deeper relationships with many co-workers, and I'm completely fine with that considering I have a social life outside of work. Also, teaching = talking and socializing all day, so when I get a break during the day I'm happy for some quiet and solitude. 

Now that many of my coworkers know that I'm pregnant they have started asking me more personal questions and shown more interest in getting to know me. It's weird - it's this obvious growing physical thing that people that don't know you that well just want to talk to you about and either share about their experiences or ask you about yours. I actually had one particularly pleasant conversation with a co-worker and learned a lot about her that I hadn't already known because of this, so that was nice.

Anyway, the kids at the school where I work have also started asking me if I'm pregnant too, and they have no shame in the questions they ask or personal family details they want to share with me. When a group of 6th graders I know found out, they wanted to know my age, so I let them guess. After 10 guesses they got it right, and then they were all surprised that I was in my 30's because most of their moms had them when they were in their late teens or early 20's, because they are from cultures where literally child and teen marriage is common. They also said I look younger than all their moms even though I'm older (or at least older than the moms were when they had kids), which doesn't surprise me if the moms had to start living like adults from a young age. Then I got to hear all the stories like, "My cousin in Lebanon was married and had her first kid when she was 14". Needless to say, I had a lot of questions for these kids but I had to choose them carefully. Luckily, there seemed to be the consensus that none of them wanted to get married anywhere near that young, and they seemed kind of relieved to be living in Australia where that isn't the norm. They couldn't imagine getting married and dropping out of school in the next year or two of their lives.  

A lot of people around my age don't feel ready to make grown-up decisions now, much less would they have been 15 years ago. I already knew that there were cultures where there is no minimum age to marry, and there are organizations around the world that are working to change the laws. It's more of a reminder when learn that I'm one degree removed from people who are in that situation, though. 

It all goes back to the idea that education creates more life opportunities for people, particularly girls and women, and that's one reason that I am happy to be an educator. Having this view is why I think the idea that has sprung up in the last few years in the states that education is just for stuck up "coastal elites" is so absurd to me. Yes, that's a somewhat different issue because the cost of higher education in the US is so much less affordable than it is in other countries, an issue that needs to be addressed in the coming years, but the core idea about how much the pursuit of knowledge should be valued remains the same. It makes absolutely no sense to me how wanting to educate oneself and others, and working hard to create career and life opportunities for oneself, could be seen as a negative thing.

I think I've leap-frogged topics enough for this morning. I will end with this though: I am grateful that I grew up in a culture where I have had the choices of how much education I attained and when to start a family. Many people now and in future generations will not get those same choices. 

Coming Soon - Baby Chirlin - March 2018!

For those of you that did not already know, Michael and I are expecting to have a baby at the beginning of March 2018! Right now I'm just starting to get to the stage where I actually look pregnant, and not just like a have a beer gut or something. 

Navigating the Australian universal healthcare system so far has been a mostly positive and pleasant experience. It still feels strange to me to go in and get an ultrasound or have blood taken, and not pay a cent, like I'm getting away with something. It's pretty great. I'd almost feel guilty, except that I just feel happy and relieved that all the taxes I've paid are giving our family back something, just like they are theoretically supposed to. It'll also be nice when I get paid parental leave from the government for 18 weeks too. It's only minimum wage (which is currently just over $18/hr, over twice what minimum wage is in the US), but it's better than what the government and many companies in the US minimally offer - ie: nothing - not to mention that in the US most women have to use up all their sick and vacation days (not an issue here when one goes on maternity leave here). Thanks, Australia!

I actually have quite a few other friends, here and in the states, who have either just had babies in the last year or are expecting now. It's great because I've been able to get a ton of second hand maternity clothes for free, and I'm hoping we'll get a few hand-me-down baby items eventually too. It also means that our little one will also have other little playmates, no matter which group of friends or family we end up hanging out with. 

We plan to stay in our little one-bedroom apartment until a few months after the baby is born, and then we'll probably move to a two-bedroom. I know a one-bedroom would not be enough space for many couples/small families we know, but it suits us just fine. We love our neighborhood with lots of cafes, parks, two malls, friends' places, and public transport within walking distance. We have a carshare literally in front of our building if we want to throw the baby in and jaunt to the beach for an afternoon, or go on a little weekend camping trip. We love it. We'd also just rather not accumulate a lot of unnecessary stuff, since we still see ourselves as temporarily living here. Having limited space keeps us from collecting and storing too much. Also, occupying a smallish space means we don't need things like a baby monitor or baby gates for stairs. Living below one's means is highly underrated. We'll see if I still feel that way once the baby is a few months old, but I imagine having a second bedroom will be just right for us, while he/she is still young. The plan is still to move back to the states in the next few years, so we can live near family again. When, exactly, is still up in the air. 

For the moment, I'm the only one that currently knows the gender of the baby. We are seeing how long I can keep that secret - so far it's been four days. I think I have already surpassed Michael's expectations for giving it away, and I think if I last a week or two more he will be begging me to tell him. 

In other news, this week was Mike's birthday! We had a nice Thai dinner and did an escape room with friends, which we solved and exited with time to spare. I'm glad our baby will round out the calendar some - we have way too many family birthdays to celebrate in October, and she/he will only be one of a small handful in the February/March time. 

One Headlight

This morning I learned that a friend of mine that I went to school with for about 12 years, Colleen, passed away. She had fought and beat cancer several times, but this last time was going really rough and it seemed somewhat expected that this would happen. 

We were not best friends, but we were in the same clique through middle school and started high school together. This was a friend that I played basketball with for several years. We did school plays together. We went to sleepovers and concerts together. We wrote funny notes in classed or talked on the phone after school. When her sister was was sick and then died of cancer, I was there and I helped her catch up with her school work. When we were awkward pre-teens and teens, she was one of the people I looked to to see how I could act more confident and socially comfortable. Even though we grew apart and lived our own lives after high school, only occasionally talking on the phone or online, she was someone that had made a huge impact on my early life. 

Colleen never complained about the fact that her family had to deal with her sister fighting and dying of cancer. She didn't complain about her mom fighting and dying of cancer, and then her dad. She didn't complain about how cancer was so scarily prevalent in her family, it was just the way life was. She would remain positive and crack jokes. She became a nurse so she could help people and families like hers. And when it was her time to fight the same disease that took everyone older than her in her immediate family, she did it again and again because she was a fighter and that's what she did.

The world is not a fair place; if it was Colleen would still be here and healthy. Her spirit will live on in all the lives she touched while she was here. I'm ending this post with a song that I heard for the first time at a sleepover with her; we listened to it on repeat over and over again while we also stayed up too late eating junk food, watching movies, and a brief fiasco where I rode someone's go-kart around a backyard and crashed through some bushes. 

In a recent post I said I didn't miss being young all that much. Just today, just a little bit, I do miss being that young.

Youth Camp, take 2

I'm spending the last two mornings of my school holidays (the weekdays anyway) helping run a small ultimate frisbee youth camp. We did it this the same time of year time last year, and it's good to have a few familiar kids back, and a bunch of new ones. It is nice to work with kids outside of school, where they more likely have a choice of whether or not they want to be there. They're more fun and don't have nearly as much as attitude as some tweens tend to have when they're at school. We also get a lot of attendees that are kids of friends, or their friends, so usually they are a generally well-adjusted bunch that just want to be active and friendly and have good attitudes. We got off to a good start today and I'm hoping that tomorrow goes just as well. 

Compassion

I have this thing where it bothers me if my most recent blog post is negative, it bothers me until I'm able to post something more positive. So, my positive words for the day are brought to you by HH Dalai Lama. No matter what is happening in the world, just reading a few words by him remind me of what is important and good, and that other things matter less. 

Also, as a side note, Ronny has been posting these last few posts (despite what it says at the bottom). 

Learning to Fly

RIP Tom Petty. The world loses another talented musician. 

Update: Now, I'm not sure if he's dead? It's unclear if the news was erroneous - he may have just had a heart attack. Anyway, either way, let's celebrate his talent!

Another Day, Another Mass Shooting

And just after my recent post about how there are enough scary and terrible things happening in the world, another worst mass shooting ever happens in the US.

So many intelligent and reasonable people have said it a multitude of times, there is no reason for a private citizen to have access to any automatic or semi-automatic weapons, much less many of them. I vote for politicians who propose common-sense gun legislation. I contact them even after they're elected to make sure they know that I, as a constituent, see this as one of the important issues right now that needs to be addressed. Despite that, despite men, women, and children being killed constantly by guns in the US, nothing gets done to prevent it. I'm sick of it. 

This slippery slope argument about how any common sense laws are tantamount to the government taking away all our rights is the biggest load of garbage. Everyday, my right and the rights of millions of Americans to feel safe in a public place or even my own home is taken away because who knows when anyone will just show up with a semi-automatic weapon anywhere? The argument that more guns make us safe is also garbage, since it has been proven over and over again that areas with more access to guns have more gun deaths. Also, there were people at the concert in Las Vegas that had concealed carry guns with them that were useless during the type of assault that happened. The argument that, "outlaws will still have guns" is garbage too, since most of these mass shootings are performed by people who acquire their weapons legally. If five outlaws have some guns, we're still all literally safer than if thousands of people having them legally. 

I've brought up many times how Australia dealt with this exact issue, they severely cut back on the number of guns owned by individuals, and gun deaths went down dramatically. There hasn't been a mass shooting in the whole country in years. They are a nation that is very similar to the US in a lot of ways, and if they can do it and it can work here, it can work in the states. They haven't completely eliminated gun ownership, but they put in place COMMON SENSE LAWS. The US government continues to ignore the facts, and it disgusts me. 

When teens died at Columbine, we were all shocked. When children died at Sandy Hook I was disgusted. When people died at the Pulse night club, I was saddened. Hearing about Las Vegas now sickens me. These are all senseless tragedies that could have been prevented, and everyone who continues not to act for prevent them in some way is part of the problem and is responsible. It shouldn't have to take personal or family loss for more people to get involved to stop this violence. Every one of these events could have happened in any American city or town. 

I do what I can, from how I am involved in democracy, to how I try to educate the next generation in better ways to solve their problems than violence. My conscience is clear. 

Shock Value

Since I was little, I've enjoyed watching suspenseful/scary movies on occasion. Last night I went to see the remake of It with a friend at the theater. I had seen the original a long time ago, so I knew what to expect, but my friend had not. Every time Pennywise the clown would appear and lunge at someone she would grab my shoulder, so even if I wasn't surprised by what was happening on the screen, she would surprise me. Then we would laugh at how ridiculous it was, and it would happen all over again. 

Scary things happen in the real world every day: unstable leaders of countries threaten nuclear action, actual wars are fought,  domestic and international terror attacks are now regular occurrences, severe natural disasters strike and become more prevalent, demagogues threaten democracy by taking away citizens' rights under the guise of protecting them, pandemics health crises rise, domestic and various other types of abuse occur in every community, species become extinct and the corals reefs become bleached, etc.

With all that is going on these days, I welcome the escape into fictional worlds where a clown terrorizes children in a little Maine town, or a group of ordinary people tries to survive against all odds in the zombie apocalypse, or the army of the dead marches towards a continent full of warring kingdoms (plus dragons and magic). Yes, it is important to be aware of what is happening in the world and do things of substance, and not just retreat into fantasy worlds all the time. We are not living in Ready Player One  or Idiocracy just yet, but we're getting there. So I'll take my little momentary escapes here and there.