Balance

Today I had to teach kindergarteners a lesson about balance as part of "Personal Development". The lesson was basically about how even if you like to do something that's good for you, if you do only that thing, it will end up not being good for you (for example, in the story I read them, there was a kid who read so much that she didn't get enough sleep). 

Me: Are apples a healthy thing to eat?
Kids: YES.
Me: If you eat only apples, will you be healthy?
Kids: NO. 

I think the kids ended up learning more about eating a balanced diet than finding balance in their lives, since most of them drew pictures having to do with food afterwards, but they'll get there. 

As a side note, a little girl tried to add on to my apple analogy by saying that if you only ate apples, only one part of you would grow (she gestured towards her hand as an example). But, if you eat lots of different things, your whole body will grow. She had the right idea, but now I am imagining what it would be like if different foods only made one part of your body grow... I would get elephantitis of whatever body part pizza grows. Or, if I only ate carrots, I would have gigantic bug eyes. People would all look bizarre, and you'd probably become good friends with people who ate the same main thing you ate too, not just because you'd have similar tastes, but because you'd all literally be freaks in the same way. 

Well, that was a strange rabbit hole. 

Goodnight.

Megalong Valley and Dam Cliffs

Over the weekend we went camping in Megalong Valley, in the Blue Mountains, with a group of friends. We spent day two at the Dam Cliffs, an amazing swimming hole and climbing area. I would have swam more, but the water was really cold. Here is a short video Mike put together of him and some of our friends going off the rope swings. 

Beachy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! We spent our non-holiday at a fun, low-key dinner party in Bondi. We had our cocktails overlooking the waves at sunset, and then had our fill of turkey, stuffing, and pie. 

Everybody's Talking, Nobody's Listening

Education has been coming up a lot in the news lately in regards to the recent election outcome. I was writing a never-ending post about it, so then I decided to erase it and simply post this and let it speak for itself, without touching on politics. Sadly, somewhere along the way, I think this idea often gets lost. 

Water, Earth, Air, Fire

Water
We played supball for the second time in Manly this weekend with the newly renamed "Tremendous Events Group" (really, just a sub-group of our mostly frisbee friends). 
We had fun in the water.

Earth
The eight of us made fools of ourselves in public, and then had a delicious lunch at 4 Pines.
Pines grow from the earth.

Air
After lunch, to our delight, we discovered that next door there was a Budgy Smuggler pop-up shop. The brand was actually started by a frisbee player that Mike knows, and it made international headlines when some Aussies on holiday in Malaysia decided got in trouble for wearing their custom made swimwear in public. Anyway, these days they also make women's swim and sportwear, so my friend and I got some some with a "frisbee/friends discount". Their stuff is super comfy, and I'm not just saying that just because I got a good deal. 
Budgies are birds, and birds fly through the air.

Fire
From there we got to a virtual reality housewarming party. That sounds bizarre, doesn't it? The house was real, as was the party. We just got to demo a VR system because our friend used to work for a well-known video game company. This is a screenshot from my favourite game of the night. It involves one person playing as the monster (wearing the VR headset), and two other people using the controllers to play characters in the game that interact with (really, torment)) the person. Good times.
Electricity/energy is fire.

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Sunday has been less noteworthy for me and full of chores, errands, and workout, while Michael is playing in a one-day tournament. Weekend, you're alright.

It's good to be back

Most flights over the Pacific land at Sydney sometime between 6-9AM. Many people I know here, when getting in from a long overseas flight early in the morning, end up going into work the very same day in an attempt to start getting back on the right schedule. Fortunately for me, this is not a possibility for me considering the regular hours of my work, so I get a day to readjust and do whatever I need to do to reorganize myself.  

My first stops when I get back are usually the grocery store and Flat White. Walking around running errands on a sunny, spring Sydney day were particularly pleasant yesterday. I was also able to meet up with my friend, Holly, at a yoga class and catch up over a cup of tea. 

Now I am having a productive morning that started 3 hours before I have to be at work because, surprise, I can't sleep anymore. I'm not complaining, thought, since I got a reasonable amount of sleep while Michael was still working late last night. 

I love my visits back to the states, but it feels good to get back into the swing of things here. With everything in the US being in flux at the moment, most people I talked to were on edge in some way about not knowing what the future would bring. Here, people are very interested in what is going on overseas (not just in the US). They are certainly concerned, but there isn't the same feeling of fear and dread. It's business as usual, which is refreshing. 

Rough Life

By request...

On Behavior Management (aka Subtle Manipulation)

The number of people I know who are parents continues to grow and grow. I do not have my own kids, but I have worked with kids for about 19 year at this point... damn, that makes me sound so old. Anyway, all parents get stressed out from time to time, but some seem to be stressed out more of the time than others. I just thought I would share a few helpful tips I have learned over the years dealing with kids from about age 2 and up, in the hopes that they might help some parents to lead less-stressed lives (at least in regards to their kids' learned behaviours). These are not uniquely my ideas; they are from other people I know who have also had decades of experience with kids, and also I have used them and I find they work. 

1. The ratio of positive interactions you have with your kids to negative interactions should be about 5:1. This is an unofficial ratio, but the point is that there should definitely be more positive than negative. One should not have to constantly say "NO" or "STOP". Yes, sometimes you need to react quickly if they are doing something dangerous. But, if what they are doing is simply something you don't want them to do and isn't urgently going to cause harm or damage, it is best to take a second and phrase what you say to them positively. For example, instead of saying, "No! You can't play with Grandma's breakable figurine!", you can say, "Whoa, I bet Grandma would be upset if that broke by accident. Maybe we should find something else to play with". Or, instead of, "Put that stick down! You'll poke your eye out!", you can say, "Hey, can you help me put that stick over there in the woods where it belongs? Thanks for being a really awesome helper!". It sounds kind of corny, but phrasing things more positively (and with as little blame as possible) builds the kid's self-esteem instead of making them feel like they're always doing something that makes you mad. Over time all the no's can add up; or, all the positives can. 

2. Set realistic consequences and follow through with them, as calmly as you can. If the kid is doing something I don't want them to do, I usually say something like, "If you do [specific action] again, then [specific consequence]. For example, if I see you throw the ball inside again, I'm going to take it away and not give it back until tomorrow. And then if they do it, you do what you say you're going to do. Sounds simple enough, but a lot of people never set a consequence, or they set one they don't really want to follow through with. One time I saw a mom tell her daughter to stop playing in the bushes in this shopping center or she going to cancel Christmas and the girl wasn't going to get any gifts. This seemed like an overly harsh punishment that wasn't going to happen. The girl kept playing in the bushes. If you don't follow through with what you say you're going to do, kids learn very quickly that they can keep pushing the limits with you. If they learn you do what you say you're going to do, they're less likely to draw behaviors out and keep pushing. Also, if they find you are not getting very upset, this can cut down on them doing negative things to get your attention. 

3. Choice 1 or choice 2. If I want a kid to do something, I like giving them two choices that are both what I want them to do. That means I'm likely to win either way. For example, "Do you want to clean that up now or in five minutes?". Nine times out of ten they say five minutes, but then when you tell them it's been five minutes they'll actually do it because they feel like they've had some say in the matter and agreed to it. The other popular clean-up one is, "Do you want my help to clean that up, or can you do it yourself?". Either way, it gets done. One of my favorite examples of this was a friend who recently asked her daughter if she wanted to say hi to me and Mike, and the 2-year-old daughter decided she wanted to be difficult and not do it. When we suggested our friend ask, within earshot of the daughter even and almost jokingly, "Do you want to say 'Hi' or Hello'?", our friend asked her and little girl smiled and said "Hi". It doesn't seem like it would work, but it really does most of the time. 

4. Your kids are probably not too young to learn good manners, and to take care of some of their own needs. 2-years-old is not too young to teach a kid how to clear their plate from the dinner table, or learn how to say "please" and "thank you" for everything. Kids with good manners tend to have more positive social interactions with other kids and adults throughout the day (this is in my opinion; not scientifically proven), which links back to #1. 

I'd be interested to hear if anyone out there tries any of these strategies (that hadn't before) and notices a difference in behavior. Again, I'm in no way taking credit for these ideas; just giving some suggestions to people out there based on what has been suggested and what has worked for me over the years. That being said, every kid and every situation is different, so no one thing will work 100% of the time.

It's been real, USA... a little too real...

I'm back from my hiatus. Was there some kind of election that happened recently or something? Anyway...

Highlights from my trip back to the states included two very fun weddings, a roadtrip down south, catching up with lots of family and friends, binge-watching Westworld, and the annual pumpkin potluck party, just to name a few. 

It was good to be home up until about a week ago; now it's good to be back in the Southern Hemisphere.