The Beginning of the End?

 

The pandemic has been going for 11 months. I have been very lucky to receive my first dose of the vaccine a few days ago. 

The Bar Keeps Dropping Lower

 I think everyone is still processing the news from two days ago. While this was not a true surprise, because there were lots of signs that something violent was ultimately going to happen, it was still shocking to see how easy it was for our Capitol building to be overrun by people who weren't particularly clever or cunning. Even though a small number have been arrested, it just seems that there has been little consequence for their grotesque actions. I continue to feel disgust that this happened in our country. I keep hearing sentiments like, "This is not who we are". This is exactly who we are, and that's precisely why it is so disappointing and embarassing. 

All of this has happened in the midst of a deadly pandemic that grows worse by the day. The vaccines rollout has been botched, which isn't a surprise considering how the country has handled the whole pandemic.

The US country is truly at a low point that keeps getting lower. January 20 cannot come soon enough. 

The night of the riot, I decided to eat vegemite toast for my evening snack. It's times like these that I remind myself of my Australian-ness. 

COVID Update - 39 Weeks

We are still home. We have lots of friends overseas in Australia and other countries whose lockdowns have come and gone, and they have kept the virus in check as outbreaks come and go. Our situation has never really improved and we are going on our 10th month. Today, more than 3000 Americans were reported dead from COVID; more than on 9-11. That's just today. The average has been hovering around 2000-a-day for a week or two, and before that, it was around a thousand-a-day for a long time. It's really hard to grasp the scale of that much death in comparison to other events, wars, and diseases in our lifetime, or even our parents' and grandparents' lifetimes. This has just lasted so long and been so cummulative. The anniversary for Pearl Harbor was the other day and I checked the numbers a few times just to see if they would surpass the casualties for that anniversary. They didn't, but they were closer.

There's been an exodus from the city. We know several couples, families, and individuals who have left for now because they can work remotely. A handful of friends changed professions altogether and moved away.

Now that the weather is cold, we take advantage when it's unseasonably warm to see family or few friends outdoors. We continue to do recess with our neighbors every weekday at 10 sharp, and the kids still really love it. It's Penny's main socialization (and ours too!) other than being with her parents all day most days, so it's pretty important and helps us all maintain our sanity. We all get out our energy and warm up in the sun by swinging on the playground, running around with nerf guns, tossing the frisbee or shooting baskets, the kids scootering or chasing each other around. We have our snacks and morning tea.

Halloween came and went. It was surprisingly fun because our neighborhood did a fantastic job of communicating socially distant/safe practices beforehand, and almost everyone followed them. There was a one-way path, pre-packaged treats, and anyone that wanted to greet kids did so from a distance, usually sitting out in lawn chairs with blankets or by a little fire. It was adorable and heart-warming. To my surprise, we even had a few leftover bags of treats, which means that after the first greedy boogers we saw trying to raid tables, nobody else took more than their share. 

The election came and... is still going away slowly. 

Thanksgiving came and went quietly. We traded some food with family during brief outdoor and/or masked visits, but mostly spent the day by ourselves and partly outside with the neighbors, and did a zoom with family too. It was almost like one of our Thanksgivings overseas. 

And now that it's the Christmas season, we are all in. We have multiple advent calendars, we are doing Hanukkah, and I probably did too much online shopping already. 

Today, I went back to the ghost town that is the campus where I used to work in-person. This was the third time I'd been back; I tend to go once a season and this was my winter visit. the building was cold because the heat has been turned off. It's eerie because so much of how the classroom was left looks just like kids were there yesterday, even though no kids have been there for over nine months. There's art on the drying rack, a March calendar clipped to the parent communication board that was never taken home, the sign-in sheet with names of some kids who won't be back, spare jackets still hanging in cubbies, the spare clothes bins and nap blankets and items that may or may not ever get taken home. I finally took home some items like my bottle of ibuprofen and box of tea that I figured would just be there when I came back and get used eventually, but after this long I'll just use them at home. At my work, my colleagues hope we will be able to return to work in-person in the spring?  Maybe April? May? We have no clue. My one year work anniversary was a little over a week ago (of when I returned to work there; I had previously worked there about two years also); 3/4 of that time has been from home. I'm still very grateful that my work has gone through every effort to minimize layoffs and furloughs. Those of us that can't work at our full capacity remotely have taken on temporary work with other departments. For now, we have five furlough days we can choose when to take, from November to March. It's a small price to pay, and I have no complaint. 

A vaccine is already being rolled out in the UK. It will start being given out to first responders and the elderly later this month. It will still be several months before it will actually have any effect on our lives though - we will all still need to wear masks, socially distance, and not spend much time indoors with people outside of our households. 

I am hopeful 2021 will be better, but it will be a long time before life can remotely feel "normal" again. For all we know, it may not return to the old normal ever again. I can't imagine I would feel comfortable spending time indoors in public spaces without a mask, near strangers, for a long time... even if I was vaccinated and the majority of people were too. It will feel foreign and strange. We watch movies from just a few years ago and instinctually think, "Those people are too close", "They shouldn't go in that house with those people they don't live with", and "That gathering has too many people". The thought of going to a wedding or large gathering indoors makes me cringe. Hopefully after the vaccine is widespread, regular travel can resume, and it's finally safe for all schools to return in-person, it will eventually not be scary to see groups of people like we used to.  

I always think about how this time is affecting the development and personalities of my daughter and all the kids we know of various ages. It's the biggest experiment we never wanted to impose on them, and on ourselves.

COVID update - 26 weeks

Today is Labor Day. Another annual milestone that is less meaningful during a pandemic. It's the last day of summer for public school kids in Northern Virginia, although they will just be going back to school online for now. My work is on hiatus and I'm doing a temporary position for a different department for most of the upcoming semester. Penny is home with us for the foreseeable future. 

We are slowly expanding our social circle to seeing a few friends outdoors. Penny has really developed a friendship with the neighbors' kids, seeing them entirely outdoors. We see grandparents on both sides occasionally, maybe once a week or every other week, outdoors when possible, sometimes masked inside. We try to get outdoors and go to parks, but I still feel anxiety with the number of people we come in contact with, even if most are masked and we are outside. It just makes me miss the days we lived in Sydney, and on any given day we could go to any beach we chose, beautiful Centennial Park, or go to the mountains or the bush, and just enjoy being out and about and carefree. We miss the cafe culture there and the local breweries, and just being able to meet up with our friends so easily. 

We moved back here so Penny could have at least a few years for building relationships with her family here. In some ways it has been a success, but it definitely hasn't been what we envisioned. Now, I regularly way the pros and cons of moving back to Australia or maybe even Canada if one of us were to get a job there somehow, in the next few years. I guess time will tell if we end up staying here longer-term, or leave for somewhere where it's easier to live a more outdoorsy lifestyle. We are torn between where we have connections, and where we would choose to enjoy living just based on the geography/weather/laws/local lifestyle.

So far, being homeowners has been average. There are some perks and some downsides, as we discovered when our shower started leaking and now we have to get quotes for expensive repairs. We do enjoy having our own private playground and backyard space, though. 

We are continuing on in limbo, like everyone else. It will be interesting (and it makes me nervous to think about) what will happen on election day in November. 

COVID Update - 21 Weeks

We bought a new home, which we are currently painting and fixing up to prepare for when we move in in the coming weeks. We are looking forward to finally feeling settled soon, after so long. We have already met our very friendly neighbors, and Penny carelessly thinks they are an endless source of popsicles. 

My work just announced that they will be delaying their opening in the fall. The university, like many, has changed their plan to be partially on-line and having some students on campus, to be entirely online for the fall semester. This is due to the fact that the COVID numbers are again rising, after they were steady for a while. I have worked over 100 days from home (not including weekends and holidays). As far as we know, this is still the "first wave" since the numbers never dropped that low. It's mindboggling that about 1,000 continue to die everyday, with no end in sight. 

I'm disappointed for Penny - that she won't be able to start preschool like normal, and be more social with kids. That's the main downside of all this for her. Otherwise, she has really been growing and developing and enjoying spending lots of time with family. I am also so relieved for all of us that we will be able to continue to control how many people we come in contact with so that we can do our best to stay safe and healthy. I never thought I would want to still be home in the fall after so many months home, because the truth is I don't. What I really want is for the virus to be under control and for us to be able to return safely to school and work. Since that isn't an option, this is the next best option, of all the not-great options. 

We continue to have a very limited social life. We were able to have a low-key family trip up to Vermont, to visit Michael's uncle and aunt. We just had to limit our stops and bring all our food. It was nice to finally have a change of scenery, and boy does Vermont have beautiful scenery. We are still living with Michael's parents, and occasionally we see some other people in our family and very few friends (socially distant/outside/briefly when possible). We still occasionally zoom with some friends and play games with them. 

It's been a disappointing move back from Australia, to say the least. We are making it work, just like everyone else right now. We are grateful we are not experiencing much hardship beyond the occasional ennui and stress that everyone else is feeling right now. It's hard to plan things to look forward to, which is something we would ordinarily do, whether small get-togethers or international travel.

Despite parenting being a general challenge at times, spending so much time with Penny while she is at such a wonderful imaginative age has been perhaps the greatest gift at this time. I know the grandparents have also been very grateful to spend time with her, after we lived across the ocean for so long. I'm not sure if Penny will remember any of it, but I suppose she will see photos and hear stories when she is older. Numerous articles have been written about the struggles of parents working from home right now, but I have yet to read one that talks about how having a child to care for really grounds you and gives you purpose and can help lighten the emotional load at times. You can really just escape for a while by playing with your child and being silly, and I don't think gets celebrated enough at a time where a lot of people need that the most. 

COVID update - 14 Weeks

I can't sleep, so I'm here.

We have been socially isolated for 14 weeks and counting. About a month ago, Mike's parents came back from Florida and we "expanded our bubble". 

Penny enjoys lots of outside time with her grandparents - going on wagon rides, scootering, chalk drawing, and playing in the little inflatable pool in the backyard. She also enjoys going for a walk to the park and then sitting in the shade with Nana and looking at the playground she can't play at (because it is surrounded by temporary plastic fencing), and they tell stories about her playing on the playground with her friends Bluey and Bingo. It would be sad if she knew it was sad, but she still acts genuinely happy and enjoys to hear stories where she is one of the stars, along with her favorite cartoon characters. 

We finally pulled Penny out of her daycare after paying, and not sending her, for three months. This was when we were finally sure that I would not be physically returning to my work until August. We are a little bummed Penny hasn't had a chance to really say goodbye to everyone at the center, but we are hoping to get a chance to visit to say hi when it is safe to do so... months from now?

She has now mastered the art of escaping her crib, so we had to put a baby-proof doorknob in her room. She has managed to break out of that one twice. There is no such thing as full Penny-proof. This makes putting her down for naps and sleep at night more challenging. I wouldn't call them the "terrible twos", but there's definitely a new challenge all the time.

Most recently we celebrated Fathers' Day. All celebrations are low-key, and usually involve takeout. We have also celebrated a 9-year wedding anniversary, Mothers' Day, and Easter in similar fashion. The novelty of zooming for such events has worn off.

Mike's work situation is pretty much the same as it was at the beginning of all this. He completely works from home. There is talk of his company having people return to the office, but it seems like for the foreseeable future it is still a choice, and he remains home.

We talk to our friends who are still in Australia. Australia did a much better job of slowing the spread of COVID, and they are in a much more advanced phase of opening back up. Ultimate Frisbee leagues are even starting up again in the near future. People are going back to work and starting to regain some semblance of a normal life.

This is not so in the US. The scale that our government has failed has been catastrophic and unbelievable. Over 120,000 people have died of the virus (that we know of), and just today there were over 30,000 new reported cases (that we know of). The president either lies, makes jokes, or ignores what is happening. Basically, the first wave of infection never ended, and cases are starting to climb again after a big push by the president and by a lot of his followers to open up again to save the economy. They don't care if thousands of people die as long as they can try to save the economy. This comes from the supposed pro-life party. You can't make this stuff up. If people don't feel safe to go into public because there is an unchecked pandemic, what good does that do for the economy? Or, if people feel safe and go out, then the virus spreads, many thousands more die, and then we are back to where we started. 

This leads to a scary situation for voting come November. Some states are making it easier to vote absentee, while others are suppressing citizens' right to vote safely. Again, it is mind-boggling the scale that this pandemic has affected the country, and it's scary how our democratic election is truly in danger right now. 

In the midst of all this, there has been a huge shift in popular opinion about the Black Lives Matter movement, following the death of George Floyd. There have been protests for weeks all over the country. I hope that this wave of activism will bring some long overdue change.

This is just another snapshot in time. I hope all of you manage to stay safe and healthy. Wear a mask. It's not a political statement; it's a personal statement that you care about good hygiene and the people around you.

COVID-19 Has Changed Everything

We moved back from Australia to the US about 6 months ago. We could not have possibly envisioned where we would be at this point. 

The COVID-19 pandemic has spread across the world in the last several months, and we have never lived through anything like this worldwide crisis. We have been isolating as a family for six weeks, so far, with no end in sight. 

We have witnessed the best and worst of the American spirit; from generosity, hope, kindness, perseverance, ingenuity, and creativity, to greed, corruption, fear, confusion, and desperation. 

We feel incredibly lucky that we still both have our jobs for the foreseeable future (both working from home). Penelope's daycare is remarkably still open, but we haven't sent her in a month and a half. We have been living at Mike's parents' house in Maryland, while they have extended their stay down south as snowbirds. We are still looking for a house to buy, but after putting in four unsuccessful offers, and then the rates going up and down like crazy, we have slowed our search just for the time being. 

We have used this time at home to potty train Penelope, which has gone surprisingly well. I've made three Shutterfly albums and counting. Mike and I have both brushed up on our piano skills. We have been very social on group calls and playing boardgames with friends online. We have actually been talking to many of our Aussie friends more, since they are all at home too. We have felt solidarity being on calls with friends in Australia, Canada, across the US, and in Ireland and the UK, and know that we are all in this together and going through the same thing. We have been to virtual baby showers, birthday parties, a family Easter celebration, and soon a going away party for friends. I am thankful I could attend my friend Elaina's baby shower at the beginning of February, and Penelope's birthday at the endo f February -  the last big in-person events before everything got really crazy. 

Penelope has handled all this well. I'm sure she misses socializing, but it doesn't affect her mood for the most part. Her language has been developing more, because of so much one-on-one attention with each of us. She still loves Bluey and The Wiggles, and takes very good care of her stuffed animal friends. Occasionally we go out to a local park, where we can go for a walk and she can ride in her wagon, and maybe throw some rocks in a stream or lake. All the playgrounds are closed, and she just longs for an afternoon in the sun on a swing. We have gone through a ton of sidewalk chalk and playdoh. Her favorite thing to build out of legos is a "birdie house".

And now different parts of the US are talking about opening up before there have been signs of the disease slowing down. It's frightening. As has been the lack of national leadership. Testing has still been inadequate, and we cannot trust the facts and figures that have been coming out because we know they aren't accurate. The lack of universal healthcare means treatment is more complicated here than in other countries. Millions of people are losing their jobs. It is common and even the law in some places to wear masks out in public. 

So we remain in limbo for now. We go for walks and keep our distance from others we don't know. I grocery shop about once a week and we get takeaway food about once a week. We take turns watching Penelope as we work from home. We pretend we are homeowners: changing the air filter, put seed in the birdfeeder, feed the fish in the pond, water the grass, put out the trash and recycling. I think about how our life would be different if we were still in Australia; in some ways better and some ways worse. I think about how this time will affect people in every generation as we go forward, most importantly how it will affect Penny's future. Even if more businesses start opening up, it will be quite a while until we are comfortable going out. We hope that testing will become more widespread, and that a vaccine will be available in several months' time (although it will could still be a year or more, who knows?). 

We are hopeful and making the most of our situation. We wish everyone good health, and encourage you all to stay home as much as possible.