4AM

When I'm back at my parents' house on an annual visit, and I find myself unable to sleep due to jet-lag and adrenaline, I often find myself eating cereal and going through old photos, and the other odds and ends I've left there. I usually end up purging a few boxes or bags of old stuff, and yet every time it seems like the same amount of stuff is there.

One of my trivia mates, who just had a grandchild and is expecting another one very soon, was talking about how everyone gets very interested in looking at your and your partner's childhood photos when you have a baby, for comparison and reminiscence purposes. During my jet-lag induced haze one day at 4AM, I found these little gems:

I guess we'll see if Baby C takes after my rosy mug, or more after Michael.

Speaking of 4AM, here is one of my favorite references...

There and Back Again

We can never do everything we want to do and see everyone and everything we want to see during our trips back. This time we spent a lot of time with family and enjoyed two Thanksgiving gatherings, a few baby showers, and a few brunches. We spent several days of quality time with the niece and nephews, something that is really rare because of the distance and all schedules rarely matching up. All the interactions had added weight in my mind too, just knowing that the next time I see everyone, everything will be different. I will be a mom (mum) and I will have different priorities.

I already miss all the family and friends we got to spend time with, even though it's just been a short time since we were there. Missing out on so much that is happening with all of them is the hardest thing about living here. Social media gets a bad rap sometimes, but I don't know what I would do without it connecting me to everyone back at home on a regular basis. I hate that it's so long until I'll be able to see everyone again.

Travelling for 24 hours is always exhausting. Travelling pregnant is more exhausting and uncomfortable than it already is. Jet-lag and dehydration can hit you even harder. You're supposed to wear these uncomfortable compression socks for long flights.  You're more susceptible to nausea when there's turbulence. You radiate heat and have a harder time regulating your body temperature. The sleep and eating schedule disruption feels exponential. Anyway, I survived, having learned that I never want to travel over the Pacific again while pregnant. Arriving in the states is really discombobulating (even just normally), and then we get to experience it all over again when we come back here, to a slightly lesser degree. 

At least we can count on our cats excitedly welcoming us back. In the next few days, I'm sure we'll be reminded of all the reasons we chose to stay here longer, and we choose to go through these travel ordeals. We live a double life, between the states and here. Everyone at home guilts us to come back, and we really are planning to in about two years. I know that doesn't mean much because we said that when we left almost four years ago, but we really do mean it.

The Kids' Table

There are just two more sleeps and one more day of work and then we'll be off to the states for our first family Thanksgiving in 4 years, and the last one before Michael and I become parents. Knowing my family, though, that doesn't mean we'll be too old to sit at the kids' table. I have cousins that are in their 40's who are still relegated there sometimes. 

Sandwiches, Scavenging, and Songs

This post has been brought to you by the letter S.

Yesterday started off as a typical Saturday for us lately: breakfast sandwiches from the Town Bike Pitstop. Then, we participated in an almost-annual scavenger hunt run by some of our friends, around the Darling Harbour area. It was a fundraiser, with all the proceeds going to Epilepsy Ireland, a cause near and dear to a friend who recently lost his wife to epilepsy. The weather was perfect and the company was the usual crowd of frisbee folk and associates. 

In the evening, we went to Giant Dwarf, a very convenient local venue for us (just about a 10 minute walk from our apartment), to see Polyphony perform. Our friend sings in the non-traditional group; they are not the typical act/show I would go to see, but I'm glad I found out about them through her. This was the second time I had seen them, and this time was even better than the first. They often pick songs by artists not typically covered by choirs or acapella groups; they'll do songs by alternative artists like Bjork, Fiona Apple, Tori Amos, etc. This time, the most experimental songs were "All Around the World" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and "Umbrella" by Rihanna. "All Around the World" was not the best/easiest song, but I respected them for attempting it, and "Umbrella" was surprisingly good because they did it with a little doo-wop flare. 

It was a well-rounded, fun Saturday!

Election Connection

I am so happy to hear the outcome of the Virginia elections, which we voted in via mail. I'm happy about this because Virginia has been a very diverse melting pot for a long time and in a lot of ways, and it's about time that its representatives reflect some of that diversity. It also sounds like there were other gains in diversity in the governments of other states as well. 

I'm also really proud to know and have worked with Kate Kennedy, who won the a local city council election in College Park City. She was fabulous to work with in the non-profit world, and I know she will do an amazing job in local government. 

All the way across the biggest pond, things carry on here in Oz as usual. We are getting excited and ready for our trip back to the states in a week. 

Changing Shape

Last night I went to a "Changing Shape" class at the hospital for moms-to-be to learn about different ways to deal with the physical changes of being pregnant? What did I learn? That I already knew 95% of what the physio told us from my own reading (books and articles) and discussions with doctors and educated new moms. All the same, it was nice to attend the class and interact with people who are due at close to the same time as me, for their first times as well. It also confirmed something I knew already about all the information we hear and read - that all the experts still disagree on everything.

What I observed of the other moms was perhaps more telling than the few things I learned from the class. 

1. Although a few seemed to be familiar with some of the information too, more than half did not know some simple things that I had already heard or read over and over again. For example, a lot of them did know not to lie or sleep flat on one's back during the second trimester and beyond. 

2. Not sitting on my butt all day gives me far fewer problems and less pain than most of the women seemed to have. With the exception of one who said she had a job where she stands all day, a lot of them seemed to desk jobs or were students. They were all having back pain and swollen feet and vein problems and other things, of which I have so far had none. The physio said the best way to get rid of or lessen these symptoms was to move around as much as possible. I get the occasional minor aches and pains, and I have my own neck pain issues from time to time that I already had before getting pregnant, but for the most part I have been very fortunate and had very little pain.

3. Being a physically active person before I got pregnant has helped me out a lot. I seemed to be the only one that was still comfortable with wider range of motion. I was the only one getting up and down off the floor when I needed to write on the chart paper or try some of the exercises, the rest of the women just sat the whole time. Everyone laughed when I said I found a way to get up by kind of commando rolling onto my side (getting up from sitting or lying down was something they all said they were struggling with and needed help from others), until the physio said that's one of the things we should try to do so as not to strain certain muscles. 

I suppose this post sounds a little braggy, but I don't mean it to. I mean more to highlight two things that most of us already know, but many people have a hard time following through with. It's good to educate yourself about something you are dealing with to find the best strategies for you to deal with it on a daily basis, whatever that issue might be. And, being regularly physically active pays off in a multitude of ways over time. Both of these things make your life easier. 

Election Day: Nov. 6

I already voted several weeks ago. If you haven't already vote absentee, make sure to vote on Tuesday, Nov. 6! The US does not have great voter turnout in general, and it's even worse in years where there isn't a presidential election. Smaller, local elections are still important. The outcomes can affect everyone's day to day lives, whether they notice or care or not. 

Also, there is still time to have your say about the possible huge increase in national park fees here. 

Food and Hats

Saturday was a very social day. Michael spent most of the day with his men's frisbee team, while I went and had a Japanese lunch at Darling Harbour with my cousins who were in town.

The evening involved hopping from one social event to another, starting with eating a delicious and expansive home-cooked Korean meal at a friend's apartment for her birthday. Dessert was also full of choices: two different apple pies,"award winning" caramel honey pic, Uncle Tetsu's macha cheesecake and plain cheesecake (which both have the consistency of fluffy clouds), in addition to ice cream and fresh berries on the side. So good. 

From there I went to another friend's party and met up with Michael. The party theme was "hats", which doesn't sound that spectacular, but there was a lot of people and some people really brought their hat A-game. Also, they used hats to serve snacks too, which was mildly amusing. 

Sunday was much quieter. We slept in until 9 (gasp!), then I ran some errands and Michael went to the climbing gym. We watched a few episodes from the new season of Stranger Things. 

So ends one week and begins another.

Pandemic Legacy: Season 2.

We have started playing Pandemic Legacy: Season 2. It's the sequel to season 1, obviously. But for those that man not be familiar with legacy-type games, it's a game where there can be permanent consequences to game play depending on how successful (or not) you can accomplish objectives. In addition to receiving the game board and pieces, there are additional boxes and envelopes that are only to be opened when you are instructed, dependent on different game conditions. The cooperative story arcs throughout the play of a year - each time you play is one month of that year, and you play a month again if you lose (in terms of the story I guess you'd say it's the second half of that month). So, if you do amazingly, you'd play the game 13 times (prologue + 12 months); if you do poorly, you could play up to 25 episodes. Once all the months have ended, the game is essentially retired and not playable after that. 

We really enjoyed the first season - it was one of the best boardgames I've ever played, if not the best. It deals with apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic themes, which are just so hot right now. They're kind of the new Hansel. 

I really do think we are living in a golden age of games right now. There are just some really intelligent, complex games out there that involve sophisticated, higher order thinking and strategy. It's not just about luck anymore or chance, or having the same board and variables to work with. They are ever-evolving, and many are more like a shared experience than just a way to pass the time. There are more cooperative games than there have ever been, and games with different mechanics compared to the classic everyone-for-themselves mentality. 

So far in Pandemic Legacy: Season 2, we have played the prologue and the first and second half of January. We have successfully avoided any far-reaching negative consequences so far, and have made a little bit of positive progress. Only time will tell if the survivors are successful in maintaining their territory and expanding the habitable areas in the what is left of the known world. 

Shaun Tan

Since knowing something about kid lit is part of my job these days, I wanted to highlight an Australian author/artist who is putting out some really interesting and different books these days. His name is Shaun Tan and his style is very Sci Fi and surreal. 

Worth Your Salt

Every day I teach, I encounter two common hindrances to kids' learning. The first is when students think they already know something, they think and even say they already know it, so they stop listening. Then they sometimes miss the new piece of information that comes after the review of what is familiar. "Oh, I know how to multiply already". Oh, you do? So you can multiply this three-digit number by that three digit number instantaneously? I didn't know you were Rain Man. 

The second hindrance is kids who have the attitude about themselves that they simply aren't good at something, so they avoid it because it makes them continue to feel stupid, rather than improve at that skill. They tell me, "I don't want to draw because I'm not good at it". Then I have to say, "How do you think that so-and-so good good at drawing? He/she didn't start out being able to draw perfecting, he/she practiced".

Both of these problems lead to a lack of a grown mindset. If there is anything that I think leads to success and happiness later in life for than most other things it's having a growth mindset - an attitude to try to get better at something by working hard. Some people might think it's funny that I am saying this, since I am not exactly the most perfect specimen of a hard worker. I am definitely someone who believes in working smarter and not necessarily harder, when possible. I hate to waste effort on something when I know there won't be a return on my investment. That being said, I have put in my time and effort on skills and knowledge that I value and consider worthwhile in my lifetime, and I do feel as though I've "paid my dues" through my schooling (earlier in life and through postgraduate education) and work experience over the years. I may have quit some activities when I was younger, but once I found some of the ones that spoke to me, like ultimate frisbee, I improved at them over the years until I could say I was proficient and confident enough to help coach others. Anyway, back to growth mindset. It's another case of getting out of something what you put into it.

There are a handful of students I see off and on throughout the week that are really struggling in school (I'm talking reading two grade levels behind and completely unable to troubleshoot minor problems on their own), and they're struggling almost entirely because of their terrible attitudes. They have these terrible attitudes because they completely lack confidence due to the fact that they are bad at most things, have avoided any attempt at improving at those things, and therefore have not improved at those basic skills that they really need to know. Some of them likely have other issues they are dealing with outside of school, at home, that affect their attitudes and perceptions. It is very unfortunate, and I alone cannot solve their problems in the short intervals at which I see them, especially when I also have up to 30 other students that I have to teach at the same time. There are students who struggle for other reasons, for example there are several kids at the school who come from a refugee background and English isn't their first language, and many of their parents are not literate in English, but many of those kids improve vastly after period of transition of a few weeks or months. Those that are refugees often have a great attitude towards learning because they often come from families that are trying to work hard for a better life, and so they also adopt that attitude of trying to do as well as they can. 

I suppose my main point in discussing this is to just tell all the many parents, particularly parents of little ones, that instilling a growth mindset at a young age is one of the most important things they can do if they want their kids to feel confident and have more choices and opportunities when they get older. One of the popular ways to do this is that when you are praising a child for something, you emphasize the effort and how hard they worked to achieve something as opposed to how smart they are. You can also model good problem solving techniques and emphasize when you kept trying without giving up. Keep encouraging them to work through frustration, and show them how you have to do it sometimes too. Being frustrated and feeling like you're not perfect at something doesn't necessarily mean it's not worth your time. Over time, the kid(s) will come to learn through trial and error what ends up being worth their time or not, but until they make those first several attempts and develop basic skills, they won't know if something will be or not. Over time, they will get better at assessing their own skills and evaluating whether or not something will be worth their time or not. 

This is not just a problem that kids have. I can think of several adults I have come across that do not possess much self-confidence because for various reasons they never developed a growth mindset or the skills to self-asses. These adults have a much harder time "adulting" than those that have such a mindset and understand their own abilities, wants, and needs well. Again, I realize that I am not the perfect example of someone who acts like a perfectly confident adult all the time, so I suppose just take what I say with a grain of salt. 

I suppose that's just the disclaimer on everything I say.

Mel-bourne and Mel-ons

We had a great time on our short trip to Melbourne. Book of Mormon was still great - while the leads couldn't top the original broadway cast, the young woman who played Nabulungi was really amazing. The sets and props were almost exactly the same as the Broadway production. 

PAX AUS was also predictably fun. We nerded out on boardgames, video games, and panels. My favorite unusual find was an app game called Florence, which is more of an interactive graphic novel than a game. 

No trip to Melbourne, however short, is complete without a trip to Chin Chin/Go Go Bar, our favorite restaurant. The food was delicious and it hit the spot. 

And just like that, we're back in Sydney in the middle of another work week. Nothing special was happening for Halloween this year, so that's kind of come and gone too. 

In closing, I'm going to channel Oprah for a second, and plug one of my current favorite things: "H2 Melon Water". It's actually watermelon juice without any pulp, but I think they're calling it that to attract the coconut water crowd. In any case, I already liked fresh-squeezed watermelon juice, it was just not really something found in stores until recently. So, yay for refreshing watermelon juice as the weather is getting warmer! 

Now, I'm thinking of ridiculous marketing, so I'll end with this...