PAX AUS (take 3)

This weekend, Michael and I will be enjoying PAX AUS and The Book of Mormon musical. We are looking forward to being entertained, and spending time with friends for a short getaway. 

Pikachuesday

This video is actually kind of old, but I just felt like posting something funny today regardless. My favorite part is when they try to bring the deflating guy out again and then the suit fails again. We've all had those days where we relate to a deflating Pikachu...

Credibility and Impressions

Many people know my age and older are familiar with the journalist, Dan Rather. For those that don't know, he is actually quite active on social media these days, and often poignantly points out his observations of current events. On Oct. 20, he posted this as a reflection about what has happened in the new recently. I think he brings up avery good point about "credibility" regardless of one's political affiliation:

"This is what happens when you lose credibility. This is what happens when you lie repeatedly about issues big and small. This is what happens when you foment divisions and show no remorse. This is what happens when your words have no meaning. You lose the benefit of the doubt.

Today John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff issued an emotional defense of President Donald Trump's phone call to the widow of a fallen soldier. He opened up about the death of his own son in combat. He claimed that Mr. Trump was being sensitive. He said he hadn't meant to criticize previous presidents when he said he wasn't sure if they made calls to the fallen. He criticised the conclusion of a Democratic congresswoman who shared her vantage point of the call. Everything that Mr. Kelly said may be true. Or maybe not. This could fall legitimately in the grey area of different interpretations, at least in cases where the president isn't Donald Trump.

Why did millions of Americans jump to the conclusion that Mr. Trump was criticizing President Obama with his words? Because that is what Mr. Trump always does, including questioning whether President Obama was a real American. Why did millions of Americans not trust Mr. Trump's denials about what he said and that he had proof? Because Mr. Trump repeatedly lies about what he says and what he means. Why did millions of Americans assume that Mr. Trump could not feel empathy for the death of Sgt. La David T. Johnson? Because he has shown no empathy for the people of Puerto Rico still suffering from a hurricane without power or safe drinking water. Why did millions of Americans think that Mr. Trump could disrespect American servicemen and women? Because he attacked a war hero and a Gold Star Family during the presidential campaign.

The impression of Mr. Trump that fueled the narrative around this phone call is one for which Mr. Trump has only himself to blame. General Kelly has served with distinction and honor. He has born grave personal sacrifices. He has every right to speak in the manner he did today. But he also has to understand that while millions of Americans may be inclined to believe his sincerity and character, they have long since given up on those attributes when it comes to his boss.

Yes elections have consequences. But so do words and deeds."

First impressions are important, as are the continued impressions you build of other people (and that other people build of you). As a teacher, I rely immensely on the impressions I have of each of my students. I know that when "John" tells me that "Larry" hit him, and Larry says, "No, John hit me!", which one of them is more likely go have been the perpetrator due to past behavior, or if it is likely that it was just an accident or whatever. The specifics of each situation could be different, and maybe the usually "good" kid really did get angry and hit the kid that usually acts up. The chances are, though, that the kid that have previously try to hit other kids behind my back also did it this time. I try to be fair and listen to both sides and take evidence or other testimonies into account, but the fact is that my previous impressions of how these kids usually act heavily influence how I react. 

One of my favorite new TV shows is The Good Place, particularly because the writers play with the ideas of which kinds of characters are credible and what kinds of impressions they leave on the viewer. The show brings up lots of "gray area" situations where there isn't one clear cut right or wrong, and it pokes fun at people who try or want to do the right thing, but continuously act in ways that are not considered moral or ethical.

I suppose I'll end with the question: do I (you) act in a way on a regular basis that builds credibility with others?

DUFF-A Brings Home the Bronze

I'm proud to say that Mike's team, which is usually my ultimate frisbee team too, is bringing home the bronze medal from the mixed nationals tournament this weekend!

I love that it is so common and easy to stream games now from national and world tournaments. I love that I can watch my husband and friends playing live on my TV or my phone, and I can live chat my own commentary and heckling on What's App with my other friends that are watching from around the world too. Mike's little nephews event got to watch him play in Australia from their living room in New York. We often know one of the people who is doing the commentary too, since it's a small community, so it's funny to hear what they come up with on the spot, talking about their own friends and opponents. 

It was really fun back in June when we were at WCBU in France when I was watching one of the Australia games I got a message on my phone from a friend in Australia saying they could see me spectating in the corner of their screen, and I could wave to the camera when it panned around, live across the world. 

When I started playing 12 years ago, you could really only find out after a tournament how everyone placed. The fact that so many more games are getting taped means that there are more highlight reels and more people get exposed to the sport. Yay, technology!

Fear-mongering

There are good reasons to be concerned about some issues affecting today's world. There are legitimate reasons to be concerned about natural and environmental disasters, mass extinctions, climate change, social injustice, world leaders' abuse and misuse of power, disease, the spread of erroneous information, terrorism and violence, etc. I've seen a few articles recently that discuss this results of this year's survey of what Americans fear most, and what has changed since last year and past years. The media, advertising, and popular culture can stoke these fears; some publications do this more obviously and famously than others. People in your life can do this to you too - everyone has that one friend or family member that reads an article and then decides that everyone needs to be warned about one particular urgent issue.

The main way I see to combating the fear that one might have about any number of issues is to educate themselves on the topic (through multiple sources), and to act in whatever way possible (even if it's only in a small way). For example, I can't solve climate change, but I can take public transportation to reduce my carbon footprint. I can't stop all social injustice, but I can keep myself informed about what is happening in the world, vote for leaders who I think will fight for the causes I believe in, and I can educate young people through my work about what they can do. If I am concerned about the spread of misinformation, I can do research for a few minutes on the sources where I am getting my news and facts, to ensure that they are credible before passing on any info to others. 

One big source of fear-mongering info I've been dealing with lately has to do with mothers-to-be and what they should or should not do. The internet, articles, books, news stories, advertising, and people (some who might know you well and some who might not) are all very eager to tell you what you should do when you are pregnant or when you have a child, and they are also very eager to pass blame and guilt to moms, however their child(ren) end up. This is nothing new; mothers and mothers-to-be have been dealing with this for decades or longer. I've only been dealing with it for five months and I'm already over it. 

Here is my general advice for giving advice to mothers or mothers-to-be. Unless someone asks you for your advice about something, don't give it (with the exception of if they are doing something that is immediately dangerous to the child). They probably get enough advice, it's probably not wanted, it will probably be ignored, and they will just think you are annoying or that you think they are a bad parent. If you don't know the person that well (like, if you and that person have already discussed advice pertaining to a different scenario at some point), they probably don't want your advice about childbearing or childrearing because they haven't asked for your advice about anything else. Why would it be different because they are pregnant or they have a kid? I suppose there might be some scenarios where you legitimately have expertise about something pertaining to children's needs due to your experience, and in such a case you could probably tell an anecdote about what happened, what you did, and the result, without phrasing it as, "You need to..." or "Everyone should...". It is unlikely that from your one experience, you know what works in every situation. Your experience could give them insight they didn't even know to ask for, though. If they need it, great. If they don't need it, they have to do anything with the info and it's just another story you told. It takes a village to raise a child, but not everyone in the village has an equally weighted opinion about what happens to each child. 

That being said, I am grateful for all the support I've had so far from everyone. I feel confident that I am doing the right things for the most part, because I continue to educate myself on what I should do without paying attention to the extra fear-mongering. I haven't received any bad advice or been badgered by anyone yet, I just know that it has happened to friends of mine already. 

I suppose the over-arching theme here is to be knowledgable, positive, and helpful when possible, and to know one's own place and role. Whether it's in dealing with a mother-to-be or new parent, or another situation, we don't need to live in fear or stoke the fear of others. 

Sometimes There's Good News

Michael and I are cautiously optimistic that our ability to attain Aussie citizenship has tilted back in our favor! In the last year, while submitting our permanent residency application, we were unhappy when we were told that the law would be changing so that we would have to live here for four years as permanent residents before being allowed to become citizens, compared to the one year that it had previously been up until very recently. As it turns out, the law change did not fully go through, so the one year law remains for now and the foreseeable future. This means that we will more likely be able to become citizens and move back to the US as soon as we would like. 

Michael Goes to Nationals, Ronny Chills Out

Michael will be representing our local ultimate frisbee club at the Division II Nationals tournament this weekend in Nelson Bay, NSW. Last year they made it to the finals and brought home a silver medal, so hopefully they'll also do well this year. Living in the US, neither of us was able to make it remotely close to playing at Nationals. In Australia, it's pretty much a given that if we want to, we can play in three national tournaments during the year (mixed, mens/womens, and beach), and Michael has already played one world tournament and will hopefully play in a few more in the next few years. 

I will enjoy staying home and growing a baby, going to sleep in my own bed at a reasonable hour in addition to napping, brushing off the kitties' winter coats, Netflixing, eating lots of fruit and grilled cheese, perusing the farmers' market, and probably live-streaming the finals. The weather has been gorgeous lately (low 60s at night, and low 70s and sunny during the day), but the next day or two is supposed to be rainy, which we actually really need. When you haven't really had a rainy day for two months, actually getting one isn't so bad. Quiet weekends are my favorite these days.